Meera Reborn – An Untold Love Story Told For You (Part 1/3)
“NOTHING TO GAIN NOTHING TO LOSE …EXCEPT YOU”
To which extend can a person love someone? A state of mind when he or she feels that there is nothing else to gain in life or lose in life, except that ‘special’ person. Yes, mind reaches such a stage where everything else is just ‘NOTHING’!!!💕💕💜💜 Through this work I have described the intensity or true passion of someone, in a unique way.
What’s the most painful moment of one’s life? A particular moment when a person reaches the above told state of mind, only to understand that that special person was not meant for him/her and no language can link those two hearts……..💔💔
“My dreams don’t lie in your eyes……
My words won’t reach your ears……
My arms even stretched won’t reach you…….
Because I am dumb and you are blind!”
No doubt, it’s the most painful moment of love.
What if a girl has to forcefully accept the fact that he was not a part of his world exactly at the same moment when she feels that she just can’t live without him? If it’s definitely her first love, in what condition her mind will reach??
What are the forces that can separate two sincere lovers? Silence between two? Apart from family values taught by parents and denial of love, what else can break a relationship? Can a dear friend’s negative thoughts and broken relationship break her self-confidence to face everything with courage? Can the dear friend’s words influence her a lot and force her to move away from her dreams? Through this story, I am exploring such a few questions……Perhaps, a love story no one else has told before.
Meera Reborn – An Untold Love Story Told For You
PART 1 – Beginning with a Sunset
“Is it true??? I just can’t believe!” Meera struggled with words. Her eyes told, ‘I can’t believe these words’.
“Yes Meera. I tried several times to tell you. But couldn’t. I had to keep my promise….”
“If so, why did you break the promise today? You should have never done this to me, because you are my dearest friend and I believe you more than anyone else in this world. But you played with my feelings and lied to me several times.”
“Yes I agree. I should not have lied to you. But I had no other alternative. So I just thought, I shall reveal the truth someday. Now the whole world knows the matter and I can’t find any reason to keep it a secret now.”
After a moment or two, Abhilasha asked Meera, “Even if I told you earlier, can it make any difference? Never…Except that your heart will sink again, though you have thousands of puzzles to resolve right now. Am I not right Meera?”
Meera didn’t reply. Instead she looked towards the deep blue seas. The roaring storms deeply reflected in her eyes. The sun is about to set. Dusk is so beautiful. A lot of people at the shore enjoying the sun set. But Meera’s mind is thrown into the dark shades of deep blue seas. Like the different shades of blue waves, from light red to dark blue and grey, her mind has also started oscillating like a pendulum between different moods.
“Meera, please don’t get angry with me. I know it well I will definitely see tears in your eyes, hearing this news. Even if you knew it earlier, it only breaks your heart. Do you know how many times I have tried to tell you? But I couldn’t! He is also a dear friend to me. Perhaps he also might have thought this news should never reach you easily. That may be reason why he begged me not to tell you. Though he never took your name, I believe he really desired that you should never know about it, though he was sure it will reach you today or tomorrow.”
“Anyhow what you did is not right Abhi……” Her eyes were already filled with eyes. “My life is lost!! But I thought, at least he……..” Meera stopped in the middle.
Yes, Meera has retained her power to cry again. It was lost somewhere years ago! So, she is normal right now. Is so?
After a few minutes, she asked Abhilasha questions one after another……It was nothing short of a storm creeping across the seas from horizon. ”How it happened? What was the problem? Was she mad? If I get her in my hands, I would have taught her a lesson! He is such an amazing human being, yet…..” She got heated up. She received answers for a few questions while the rest were left unfilled. She felt totally broken down.
“You know my character Meera. I never ask too much questions to someone if it hurts him. So I can’t give you answers to all. I rarely talk to him about these matters, though we still are connected. I purposefully avoid those disturbing questions.”
Meera’s voice got muted.
“Meera, it’s letting late. Shall we leave?”
“No Abhi, you just leave me alone for a while. I will come after sometime.”
“How can I leave you alone?”
“No problem, I am perfectly all right now. Just need a few moments to be myself. Can you please give it? Don’t worry, I will reach home within half hour and call you. Ok?”
“Ok then. Take care of yourself. Will wait for your call.”
When Abhi left the place, there were deep signs of rain. Clouds were already getting dark. Yes, rain has always been an eye witness, whenever something pleasant or unpleasant is just to happen in her life.
PART 2 – A journey through Past
After calling Abhilasha, she switched off her phone. Now it’s the time to be herself and her annoying thoughts. Thoughts are a part of life, whether necessary or unnecessary, even if one tries to avoid or feels special about them. She opened the door to open terrace and put a chair beneath the full moon and twinkle stars.
‘What could better symbolize a full moon than a romantic mind or happy thoughts?’ But thoughts lost somewhere else…..Wasn’t it purposeful? Definitely yes…..perhaps to escape from truth and reality or to leave everything behind which were not at all meant for ours! A clever trick of mind to save itself! Anyhow Meera succeeded in that attempt years back. Yet what is that gentle breeze bringing back? Those old memories she intentionally hid in the deepest corridors of mind? Are they really annoying at this moment right now? May be!!! Yet it’s not at all easy for mind to bury everything, particularly if it’s deeply linked to mind’s strongest feeling, that can lucky be experienced only once in life time. Yes, it’s not at all easy for a woman to forget her first love, though deliberately she tries for it.
PART 3 – New Campus New World
A bright day morning; a girl of 19 years steps to the college steps with some annoying thoughts. She is not ambitious about tomorrow, but a few thoughts of yesterday disturbing her a lot. A village girl brought up in a homely background, where she is too much attached to the family. She didn’t dream about high studies at an engineering college in the heart of the city. Instead she dreamt to find pleasure in the world of dance and music. A brilliant student, yet the wings of her dreams were not so wide. When her dreams got shattered by the pressure of her family seeking admission in one of the leading colleges of the city, she couldn’t resist herself. When her parents dreamt about a good future with a good secure job for their brilliant girl instead of wasting life in the world of art, she lost everything.
New atmosphere in a strange world and hostel life surprised Meera a lot. An introvert girl of 17 years couldn’t find a good friend of her character too. Though she tried a lot to find someone near, she faced only insults and funny words from others. She couldn’t find interest in her studies as Mathematics and Electronics looked so difficult for her to digest. She failed in subjects one after the other and it took two years for her parents to realize that it’s not her path. Later they called her back though they were still not interested in letting her pursue her dreams. So Meera too preferred to join a nearby Commerce college to complete graduation, just to earn a degree – as if a strange feeling of cursing oneself.
When she stepped in to the new world, two thoughts hurt her a lot – Lost two years and to give up her real ambition. Yet she comforted herself when her parents allowed her to continue her dance and music classes in a nearby institute, though not serious.
Meera never dreamt that whatever she lost in the past two years, she will get so quickly. She searched for at least one true friend. But now, like a dream comes true, instead of one she got four good friends with whom she enjoyed her college life to perfection. Yet she didn’t mingle with boys of her class, though they were so co-operative. Once again her heart began to bloom with new set parameters, where she forgot her old dreams and began to find happiness in the world of new friends. She began to think, whatever happened was for good. That’s how the magic world of friends returned her everything. She concentrated in her studies as well.
Gauri – among the four, she was someone special for her. She can’t find the reason why a unique bond formed between these two. Though she out bursts quickly she has a good heart, which Meera liked most. The rest three – Abhilasha, Kavya and Diya too were so close to her heart. When second year exams were about to begin, Meera’s mind got clouded with the ‘parting’ thoughts, an inevitable truth they will definitely face the following year. It happened when she started seeing her senior students seeking autographs and their thoughts and talks about future. Actually she didn’t have any idea in mind how her mind will accept that truth one year later!
But anything can happen in a 1/1000 fraction of seconds. Such a miracle happened in Meera’s life too! It made her forget all those worrying thoughts. She fell in love! A strange feeling, she believed she will never get into……It changed her whole world and concepts about love and life. When love happens in someone’s life who never believes in love and always humiliate such feelings of others, it can bring great storms to his life, may even ruin him. It’s not at all easy for them to step backward for what that has already stormed in their life. Yet love can do great wonders and teach them new lessons as well. Meera had already decided in her teens, her life partner will be chosen by her parents and she will happily accept it. But now what happened so quickly??
PART 4 – The New Chapter – The First Love
Who was Hari Krishnan? How he really meant something to her? It’s not that she met Hari for the first time in her life; it has been almost two years in college, same class. But all of a sudden, it became something special – a strange feeling or a magical connection that she never felt in the company of someone else. Yes, now Hari’ presence gives her a strange happiness, a feeling she has never experienced before. Is it that old Hari? Or is it love? She became a friend of Hari through a common friend – Gauri. Everything began with just ‘A Good Morning’ which happened in the middle of their second year….everything!
One day morning, Meera and Gauri were gossiping just before the beginning of class. Suddenly Hari came before them.
“Good Morning Gauri” and he passed by.
Suddenly Meera responded, “It’s too bad Hari. We two are sitting together. But you greeted Gauri only. Why so?”
“Sorry Meera. Now- a-days I have a habit to greet Gauri everyday morning and say Good Bye in the evening. That’s why I did so, nothing to insult. If so, from today onwards I shall greet you every day. Happy?”
Thus began the usual habit of wishing twice a day. Not only Hari, his friend Ullas too became friendly to Meera and Gauri. Yet, except a ‘good morning’ or ‘good bye’ every day, they very rarely talked! Yet how it happened so suddenly? How did Meera let her heart go? Really strange!
When her mind started showering the anxiety of the parting that’s to follow the following year, a cool breeze though unintentional drew her attention to a new world of feelings she has never experienced before. In the month of April, she started feeling that Hari’s eyes are following her, though she didn’t pay them attention; particularly because he was two years younger to her. But later, did he try to snatch her heart away?? Incidents followed the same manner. But this time not through Gauri, but through Abhilasha!
One day in the first week of May. Meera and Abhilasha were sitting outside the class when Hari called Abhilasha. Though Abhi asked him to come near, he didn’t. Instead he insisted on his stand and called Abhi repeatedly. When Abhi left her, Meera watched a few students of her class playing cricket in front of the classroom. Yet she glanced at them for a moment. She could see Hari’s disturbing face and he was seriously discussing something with Abhi. She could see Abhi also responding through words. After a few moments, Abhi called her.
Though Hari was not at all willing to discuss the matter with Meera, Abhi convinced him. “Let me tell her Hari. Meera won’t tell anyone” and Hari finally agreed.
Abhi walked a few steps along with Meera and reached beneath a tree. “What’s the matter?”
“Meera, it’s something serious. It seems he is in love. He says, for the past few days, he is not getting concentration in studies. Now exams are near. He is a brilliant student. So he is seeking my advice, what to do to get back his lost concentration. “
A thunder flashed through Meera’s mind. Yes, the same thing she expected! When Hari started talking to Abhilasha itself, Meera got doubted. Does Abhi know anything about it? Not sure. If so, are they both playing together? Meera just glanced at Hari who was standing far away. She could see the face of a lover in Hari, who is impatiently waiting for a reply. But is it 100% sure, or just my doubt, Meera’s mind got confused.
“Abhi, come with me. I will give its reply” And they returned back to the same place.
Meera smiled and replied, “Abhi told me the matter.”
“Abhi, did you tell her?” Hari looked surprised. “Yes….”, Abhi replied.
“The best way to get rid of those thoughts is to concentrate on some other things. You should try yourself, then only it gets positive effects”, Meera smiled and replied.
“Do you think I haven’t tried it? I tried. But I couldn’t Meera.” Meera’s heart lost a beat. She didn’t expect such an answer. “Please give me a solution. Exams are near”. Meera couldn’t answer for a moment. She regained herself and replied, “How can it be right if you tell so? It’s your problem and you should find its answer.”
“But I couldn’t Meera….”
Meera became speechless. After a moment, she asked, “Who is she?”
“I can’t tell”
“Do we know her?” Abhi asked.
“I think ‘no’”, Hari replied. Hari answering sensibly without touching anywhere, Meera noticed.
“Then what’s the problem?” Meera’s mind became restless for the first time and her mind wanted to know who it was. ‘Is it his trick? No idea’.
“Do you know Abhi, for the last few days he is teaching me methods to get concentration in studies. I told him, even since I lost 2 years in studies, I am not able to find interest in studies. Now he is asking to give him the same advice” She continued.
“Is it from our class?” Abhi asked.
“Hari will never think so. I believe so. Such a thing has never happened in our class. All girls and boys are good friends here. So I definitely believe, Hari never imagine so”, Meera replied.
Hari should stop everything, if he is thinking to start a relationship with her. That’s the only reason why Meera said so. But she could feel herself her heart is swinging and something really touched her heart, though she determined herself, “I will never let him to catch my heart”. She was not willing to believe Abhi 100% too. ‘Does she know anything …..? Or everything mere my imaginations? Why did Hari tell both of us? We two are not too close to him. Will someone discuss such a sensitive matter to a person whom he knows less?’
Same day afternoon a strange thing happened.
“Ullas, today I made Abhilasha and Meera big fools. They both believed whatever I told”
Meera was standing behind. But she could identify Hari’s voice clearly. She was not patient enough to hear the conversation fully. She burst out, “I heard everything what you told. I heard everything. What have you thought about me? I will tell Abhi everything. Let me see what we can do”
In a flash of seconds she reached near Abhi and explained her everything. Her mouth was open. They both stormed into the place and Abhi burst out, “Hari, don’t think that we are fools. We didn’t ask you to open your mind secrets or tell something. Then was it really needed?”
Meera also supported her. Suddenly Hari changed his tone, “You both will never believe me, even if I show my heart. If I say so to Ullas, does it mean I have told him the truth? Whatever I told was 100% true. Believe it or not…..It’s your decision” Hari deeply looked into Meera’s eyes when he completed and walked away. A cool breeze swept Meera’s mind so unexpectedly. Her heart has already started sinking in a magic world she has never travelled before.
Then everything happened within a few days or so. Everything went upside down for Meera. For Meera, her world has changed. She tried to control her mind and scolded herself when her mind fills with thoughts of Hari. But in true sense she was helpless. Till then Meera believed that if one tries truly, mind can be fully kept under control. For the first time she realized that mind is not under the control of everything. When Hari’s thoughts swept her mind, she felt as if it’s a storm or heart attack. It surprised Meera a lot and very soon she realized that if Hari opens her mind before her, she can’t hide it anymore and she will definitely cry in front of him, though aware of its consequences. But she hid it from everyone as she feared a lot. The magic storm swept her mind within two or three weeks without any deny.
But she was not at all willing to show her mind to Hari as she knew it well she can’t face Hari anymore. Also all friends will know about it and she herself can’t assure that she can accept his love and stand against her parents, if needed. She was a shy girl too, who can’t reveal her feelings even to family members or close friends, as she felt that they may think bad about her. Also she was not sure what happens next if the whole class knows about it.
Hari has never expressed his feelings to her. Yet his words often bring great storms to Meera’s mind without any reason, though they talked very little. She knows nothing about Hari, his character or past. He was not at all a close friend too, except those greetings every day. She was well aware that Hari is two years younger to her. Yet Meera couldn’t help herself and it surprised her a lot.
She started understanding the new lessons of love and repented herself, how she used to respond to her friends who fall in love with someone. Yes, it’s a strange feeling that can be understood by only those who has experienced it at least once. Someone told is absolutely right – If the magic of love has never happened in your life, you missed one of the most beautiful colours of youth.
In between Meera’s birthday passed by and it was the most beautiful birthday of her life. A strange thing happened on her birthday, which she can never forget in her life.
Her exams were going on when her birthday happened. Whole through the exam days, the students used to gather beneath the blossoming Gulmohar tree and Meera used to restlessly wait in the exam hall for the last bell. On her birthday she was very restless and kept looking at her wrist watch repeatedly.
All students of the class gathered beneath the red blossoming tree. But where have Hari and Ullas gone? She gave sweets to friends and they greeted her in return. Only Gauri and Meera left. She was searching for Hari.
“Now I don’t think they will come”, Gauri replied. Gauri could easily pulse Meera’s annoying thoughts.
“Let us wait for them for a little more time”, Meera requested.
After 10 minutes or so, “Let us go Meera. Tomorrow also there are exams. Already it’s 2 pm. They won’t come”.
Though unwillingly, they started moving. Meera’s heart was sinking. Her happiness lost all its colours. Suddenly she couldn’t believe her eyes. Ullas and Hari in front of them! She couldn’t hide her happiness, forgetting the presence of others.
“What? You haven’t gone yet”, Hari asked unbelieving.
Meera didn’t reply anything. Instead gave both of them sweets.
“Today is my birthday”, She silently replied.
“So that’s the reason. Happy birthday Meera”, Hari replied.
“Happy birthday”, Ullas too greeted her. They chatted for a while.
“You both leave. We need to go to office. Want to check if degree forms have arrived, for Ullas’ younger brother”, Hari replied.
They greeted her once again and two girls moved from there. As she moved, Meera could feel two eyes glancing at her. But she couldn’t gain enough courage to turn back!!!!
In the evening she was in deep sleep when her younger sister called her, “You have a phone”.
Mobile phones were not popular then and people used to communicate through land phones only.
Meera took the phone in a sleepy mode, “Hello”
“Happy birthday”, from the other side
Her sleep had gone hearing the voice, “Hari?” She was indeed surprised. We left just two hours ago.
“Happy birthday Meera”
“Hari??? What happened?” It was for the first time Hari called Meera. Earlier too, she has called him only once early that month to ask for his Walkman, for her brother’s school tour. It was her brother who prompted her a lot though she was not at all interested in calling Hari.
“When I reached home, I had a doubt; did I greet you or not”
“Ya, you have greeted me” Meera answered surprisingly.
“I felt a little confused. That’s why I called you. Anyways happy birthday once again”
“What were you doing?”
“I was sleeping”, Meera couldn’t lie, though she was a bit hesitated to tell that she was sleeping.
“To disturb your sleep”
“If so I should thank you.”
“To wake me from sleep. I have a lot to study for tomorrow’s exams”
“Ok then, go and sleep”
“No no, I am going to study now”.
Their conversation ended in 5 minutes. But it was enough to keep Meera whole day in the world of dreams. She couldn’t prepare for next day exams also.
PART 5 – Heart damage and its repairing phase
Her heart has already damaged and she started repairing it. At any chance, she was not willing to reveal her thoughts before Hari. Now one more year, I should manage somehow – Meera determined. The first thing she did was kept herself away from Hari’s presence and avoided him. For the next few days, it was nothing less than an examination and she eventually won it when a break happened in the form of exam study leave. She also noticed that Hari is not trying to talk her as before and she felt that it’s the right thing to do right now. If committed she can’t leave him, Meera was well aware of her own character.
Though she achieved good exam results for the previous year, she was not at all able to concentrate on her studies this study leave. Her mind got drifted with thoughts and dreams and for the first time she understood how love can affect studies. She closed her books and often dreamt many things. Is it an infatuation or real love? She was not sure enough. Her exams ended with mid-June and after 15 days, her third year classes started. By this time, Meera has already restored everything, what she has lost in the last couple of months.
But again an unexpected wave swept Meera’s mind which destroyed her almost completely. It was not love, but her true friendship – The friend she found through Gauri. She couldn’t find reasons why Gauri changed a lot? What happened between the two? No idea! But Gauri was seen bursting at Meera without any reason. At first she thought Gauri is showing the freedom of her friendship. But slowly she understood Gauri was going far away from her. She has now started friendship with other two girls of the class and avoided Meera’s presence. In Gauri’s presence very often, Meera felt alone. Meera, an introvert, was not at all a girl who freely gets mingles with others or strangers. Though she wanted to cry in front of Gauri several times, she controlled herself as she felt that her tears may hurt her dearest friend. But she often felt the heart breaking inside giving her a lot of pain. Now Meera has reduced her talks to herself though she didn’t let it knew among other members of the group. One incident changed Meera’s mind completely.
Meera and Gauri were standing outside the class. Meera was well aware of the wall built in between them. Was Gauri aware of it? Yet she tried to break it with her conversation.
“Do you know Gauri, Manu told me that day. He says, though all students of our class look enjoying friendship with the rest of class, sincere relations are rare here. When I replied, it’s your mind set that prompts you to tell so, he said that I will understand everything in the course of time. We even quarreled for a while when I argued that only sincere friendships exist in our class, particularly our group. Am I not right, Gauri? After all, how can one person make friendship with others if he is not all sincere?”
“No Meera, Manu is right. Only hollow relations exist in our class. No one loves anyone sincerely”, Gauri was in some world of thoughts. It was something new for Meera and she looked surprised. Her heart stopped beating for a moment.
“Ok, I agree. The relationships we see in this class may not be sincere. But, what about we two? Is your love towards me not sincere? Am I not your sincere friend? Can’t you love me sincerely?”
“No Meera, I can’t. I can’t sincerely love you as my true friend”.
The whole world stopped before Meera. Her heart stopped. She felt as if she is dying. Or the whole world around her changing? ‘Gauri is my best friend. I have never loved any friend of my life like Gauri. But she says I am not her sincere friend. What made Gauri think so? Doesn’t she know till now, how much I liked her and how much dear she is to me? Till now, no communication was needed between us to understand the other person’s mind. But now that invisible thread has broken somewhere.’
In the presence of Gauri, Meera was not at all willing to cry at all. Or she forgot to cry? When she swallowed the tears to herself, she could feel her heart breaking inside. Is it a heart attack? She felt that the whole world around her is sinking in dark. Her eyes are closing. ‘I should sit somewhere. Otherwise I will fall’, she was sure. Suddenly she got hold of a window grid nearby and stood still for a while. She was sweating.
In a few moments, she returned back to normal. Normal? Or is it another phase of her life or a new Meera born? For the first time in life, Meera started feeling that all relations in life are fake. Relations are not at all sincere. It was not all easy for an innocent girl to accept this fact. It’s not easy to move forward in life if we loss belief in love and relations. Meera was well aware of it. She felt that she lost everything in life!
Why did Gauri go far away from me? Is it Hari? It was through Gauri, Hari became a friend of mine. They both were very close. Was Gauri’s mind dreaming about Hari? Was there anything between her and Hari? Gauri has been my shadow always, though Hari communicate everything through Abhi. Has she realized my mental feelings, though I hid it as secret even from her? Is it the reason? Or was she hurt when I hid this secret from her? How can I ask her????? No way!!!
PART 6 – Newly born heart links
It was not at intentional. But Meera was sure she can’t withstand herself if she won’t reveal it to anyone. So she told everything to Abhilasha, who was also close to her. As a good friend, Abhi did everything she can do to bring Meera back to life. She told her idiot stories, behaved as a joker and read her poems to bring a smile on Meera’s face. Though she was not able to recover completely from the shock, Meera recovered very much. But the most surprising fact is that Meera never cried!!!! Now also she was not at all willing to accept relationships. Yet she liked Abhi’s presence and its healing effect more than anything in the world.
“I am maintaining relationship with you only because I get happiness in presence of you. But I won’t ask you ever, that you should love me as your sincere friend. I stopped dreaming about expectations in relationships. I am not expecting it from any relations any more”, When Meera embraced Abhilasha bursting into tears after a month or so, Abhi couldn’t help herself. Abhi found in Meera, a true friend she has been in searching for, since her early childhood. Meera’s innocence and feelings touched Abhi a lot and she also felt like crying.
It was that particular day a unique bond developed in between Meera and Abhi, and she became her soul mate.
Meera revealed before her, her hidden chapters of lost dreams of music and dance. Abhi was very much surprised when she knew she goes to art school. She also told Abhi how she felt bad when she was isolated from others while at Engineering college. But she hid the most important chapter of her life in the deep corner of her mind. “What’s the use if I dig a closed chapter of my life in front of Abhi? Will she feel bad about me? Will she feel I and Hari together were fooling her? Actually was Hari really telling about me? Or was it someone else? Who knows! I don’t want to know the truth. It’s better to keep that chapter closed.”
Meera’s eyes searched for Hari. He was in the usual chat of a group of friends, full of enjoyment. ‘Let him enjoy’, she thought in mind, ‘It’s closed!’
What happened to Hari in these days? If you are asking Meera, she just forgot him. Though he managed to find space in her heart, it was not bigger than Gauri. Definitely Gauri was important to Meera and for the same reason, when her friendship with Gauri was broken, she forgot everything. It doesn’t mean she stopped talking to Gauri. Yes, everything is usual. They 5 sit together in one row and share their lunch at noon too. But when soul of the group, i.e. Meera’s lively presence was lost, the group was not at all enjoyable as before. Yet they carried it away. But Meera began to get close to Abhi only.
She also happened to know about the rumours spread around Hari and Swathi, though she chose to remain silent in this subject. Nowadays they both are seen together almost all time. Was that girl Swathi? No idea! If it’s the case of Meera, her mind has completely come out of the danger zone and she was sure enough, those waves will never return back to her shore. She tried to believe, such storms are big tests of life, and she succeeded.
But was it true??? Not at all! Those waves were swept away from Meera’s mind shore to come back in double speed and destroy her completely.
PART 7 – The Storm Once again!
“Is it possible to buy mental peace in packets, for say, One rupee Two rupee etc” ….. Meera doesn’t know who has exploded such a wit in the group. Everyone was laughing, except Meera. Her mind swayed away in some thoughts.
She joined a group of students in the afternoon to have a chat with. Nowadays she keeps busy herself and has already determined that she would also behave the same way as others do, will talk with everyone, for some reason or without any, as she knows it well now, the world and society appreciates those persons only who expresses oneself, may be sincere or not. It’s only about expressions, the hollow truth behind relationships.
The broken friendship with Gauri taught her one of the biggest truths of life. The whole world is behind expressions, not sincerity. Society only accepts those, who never fail to express. She never tried to express her sincerity in relationships. That may be the reason why others failed to understand her. ‘Let me too join the folk’, Meera decided herself. For the same reason, whether she is invited or not, she started making friendship with every one of the class. She started joining hot debates and discussions whether she is interested or not. Just she wanted to prove herself that she is not odd. That’s how she wanted to revenge with the life, the same life which has played dirty games with her.
“People are already spending time in lost peace…….” Meera responded suddenly without thinking twice. It was the ‘restless’ word straight from her heart. Suddenly there was a silence all over and she could feel all eyes drawn towards her. She bit her tongue as if she has said something wrong.
“What’s the matter that made you lose your peace of mind, Meera?” Meera could easily identify Hari’s voice. Gauri and Ullas were also in the group.
“Nothing”, Meera replied. But Hari was not at all willing to believe it.
“No Meera, You are lying”.
Meera’s face went pale. It has been a long time since Hari has talked to her. Suddenly her mind was pushed to some another world. “Nothing”, she lied.
“I know it well there is some matter that worries you at the right moment. I just want to know about it”.
“I have nothing to tell you Hari. Just leave me alone. I am just trying to forget everything. Please help”, her face changed its colour. All the friends of the group gathered around her and inquired about the matter, including Gauri and Kavya. But she preferred to keep quiet.
“Just leave us alone. Let me try”, Hari replied.
“No Hari, am not going to tell you anything. It’s my personal matter”. But her mind kept asking Hari, ‘Where were you Hari all these days, when I was really in need of your help?’ She could feel a strange feeling of comfort or security in Hari’s presence, she has not experienced in the past one or two months, though her mind had no such intentions. Slowly she could feel sand drifting under her foot and she lost the grip of her mind. Yet she decided to fight. ‘It happened only because of my single wrong word. I can’t forgive myself’, Meera blamed herself. Also, as Gauri is still her dearest friend, she was not at all willing to tell a wrong word about her to someone else, even if it’s Hari, the other person.
Now everyone has left them except Hari and Gauri.
“Please leave me Hari. Otherwise I will cry”.
“I won’t let you go. I have only a few people in this class whom I think dear. I take full freedom in those persons and definitely Meera is one among those. With your knowledge or not, I will definitely bring out the annoying matter from your heart”.
The words touched Meera a lot and Hari’s presence brought those lost memories and feelings back to life once again, so much unexpected. Though she felt a magic world in Hari’s presence, she tried to avoid it and hurt him.
“Please leave me Hari. I will cry”. She was very much surprised when she felt tears in her eyes. She bend down to hide it from Hari, as she was 100% sure he would read her eyes in a moment or two. Everything happened just unexpected that she couldn’t help herself.
“No Hari. Whatever you say, but I won’t”.
“Is it a bet?”
She regained herself with full strength and looked at him. “Definitely”
“Then I bet you will definitely loss.”
“No, you will”.
Suddenly an attender came to the noisy class and asked them to leave. “Teacher is absent, you may leave now”.
Meera stood up as a winner, putting on her bag.
“Meera never even dare to dream that you have won. I will definitely catch you day after tomorrow.”
Meera went out of the class laughing. But she was already smitten by a unique fragrance of love.
PART 8 – A new surprise beginning of the Old phase
“Ok, let us start right now”, Hari came and sat near Meera in the afternoon soon after lunch.
“What?” Meera pretended as she knows nothing.
“What? What we have talked day before yesterday”.
“No Hari. It’s not at all possible”.
“I challenge you. Just 10 minutes, I will bring out everything from your heart”.
“Ok, I am giving you 20 minutes. Let me see”, Meera was not in a mood to give in.
“Please Meera, Please” Hari changed his tone and requested. Meera felt surprised seeing Hari’s patience. He was requesting repeatedly. Boys are not so and seeing his sad face, slowly her mind started melting.
“Ok, Hari. I will give you a hint, but can’t give you more details”.
“Enough. It’s enough. I will decode everything from it.”
“I have lost faith in all relationships. I am not able to love anyone, feel distance from everyone. That’s my disturbing problem”, Meera replied. Actually Meera has already started sweating in Hari’s presence. She was well aware of it.
“When has it started?” Hari asked seriously.
“No no Hari. It’s bad. I can’t give you more details.”
“Will you lose anything telling so?”
“Then tell me please. Please Meera.”
“Almost two months”
“Look Meera, You loved someone sincerely. But that person didn’t. When you didn’t get what you expected, you lost belief in love.”
“How did you tell it Hari?” Meera was surprised.
“Look Meera, how I make you reveal your own secrets from your mouth”, Hari smiled, “When you fill that person’s name, every secret is out. Who is that person?”
“I can’t reveal it Hari, please don’t ask”.
Very soon Kavya and Gauri came and sat near them. Hari repeated the question, “Who is the person?”
“I can’t”, how can Meera reveal Gauri’s name in front of her? She was not at all willing to do so too. Kavya and Gauri also started asking her about the matter and Meera’s face became pale.
“I had already forgotten everything and you made me remember everything once again Hari”.
“A sensitive girl. If I ask anything more, you can see her crying now”, Hari replied.
“I am not sensitive, Hari”, said Meera determined.
“Then why your face is so gloomy?”, Hari asked.
“She is very sensitive Hari”, Gauri replied.
Meera was well aware what made her mood off; Hari’s presence and care that gave her such a mood change. But can she reveal it? Never! So she kept quiet.
The three started disturbing her with a lot of questions while Meera had already entered into some another world.
“You two go away. Meera was to reveal everything. You two ruined everything”, Hari lost his patience.
“Is it right Hari to force someone to reveal her secrets? It’s her decision to tell us or not. If she feels that she should not, we should never compel her”, it was Gauri’s words.
Hari felt it. He became silent for a while. Then he replied, “You are right. I am going”. Hari looked disturbed and he stood up. Then all of a sudden, Meera tried to get hold of Hari’s hands. But before Gauri’s sharp eyes, she pulled her hands back and replied silently, “I had already given you 20 minutes and now it’s only 10 minutes. Now also your time left”. The truth was that she madly desired to be in the company of Hari for at least 5 minutes more.
“No, I am going. Gauri’s words really hurt me. I have only a few friends in our group on whom I take full freedom. But if those people don’t think so, what can I do? Now I don’t want to know anything Meera, it’s my word”
She knew it well, she won the bet. But she felt as if she lost it. She was not happy and she felt very sad for hurting Hari.
In the evening she reached Hari, “Are you sad?”
“No” – Hari replied.
“But from your words, it’s clear you are hurt”
Hari didn’t reply.
After reaching home, she phoned Abhilasha and told her the matter.
“Why are you hesitating Meera? Hari is also a good friend of yours. I don’t find anything wrong telling him about Gauri.”
Meera’s mind became pleasant as a clear blue sky. Whole evening and night she kept thinking, ‘How should I talk to him? What should I tell him?” She didn’t sleep the whole night as her mind was restless and fully busy in planning for the next day. It was one of the beautiful nights of her life.
‘Why everything returned back so unexpected? Is it the sign of a good omen? Is everything meant for me? What’s its meaning?’
Next day morning as soon as she reached the class, she approached Hari and told, “Today afternoon I will tell everything.”
But Hari’s face was silent. But as she knew well Hari’s character, she didn’t pay much attention to it.
In the afternoon
“Meera, I need to go to one place urgently; will return only late. Today afternoon there is no class. Why can’t we talk next day?”
“No problem, Hari. I am ready to wait for you. Just go and comeback” Meera was willing to wait for long hours for Hari. Till yesterday she was not willing to reveal anything. That’s the magic of love.
PART 9 – ‘NEVER’ ‘EXPECT’ ‘ANYTHING’ – Those three magic words of life
“Everyone in this world is alone. We can’t make too much expectation from any. Try to be like that. Then all your problems will be solved.”
Is there any magic in those words? Or is it because those words were told by Hari? Yes, some words are just ordinary, but when told by that special person, it has the effect of mantra or magic. That’s the power of love! Those words had a huge impact and healing effect on Meera and she decided to move forward with this advice. Yes, it’s nothing short of a Mantra! Hari and Abhi together brought her back to track and never made her feel that she is alone. Her wounds of broken friendship started healing. Ullas has also joined their group, thus forming a new batch of 4.
Then everything took place so quick! Her soul once again started drifting with the magic of love and she enjoyed it this time. She tried several times to keep herself away from Hari, but she couldn’t. She was well aware of its consequences. But Meera gave in completely, that’s the truth. It took hardly one month for Meera to accept the fact that she has lost her heart forever. Yet she pre-determined that she will never let it know to anyone, even Hari and that she will leave the college campus carrying a few precious moments as gems – the moments spent with Hari. She also decided that even if Hari opens his heart before him, she should lie to him. It’s not an easy task, but for the sake of both families, as both belong to entirely different communities and the conservative people may not easily accept the relationship. Also it may hurt their feelings as well.
Earlier it happened in quick fraction of seconds, may be some infatuation. But now, mind is calm and she got more time to know about the situations, future decisions and moreover, the character of Hari. Yes, Hari is a good person with a golden heart, Meera couldn’t deny the fact. May be the magic of love….. Meera started dreaming of Hari and desired that he should be the part of her life forever.
‘Why should I let it go?’ Meera started thinking, ‘If it’s meant for me and I am denying it with my foolishness, then I am the biggest fool on earth. If he expresses before me, why should I deny it? If parents of both agree to it, then it will be the biggest moment of my life. Why can’t love be given a try? Isn’t it better to try and give rather than letting it go without even trying?’
That’s how love conquered her mind in quick pace giving her colourful dreams and assured promises. The most surprising fact is that her main problem was solved; yes, she is able to sincerely love someone even if she tried to go far away from them. Is it the real love? She asked herself. She kept her decision in one corner of heart that she will reveal her feelings only at the last days of college life, not now. She was very shy to let Hari know all of a sudden. She was not sure how to face Hari thereafter, if she reveals the secret. But is Hari feeling the same way in my presence I do? Or all these mere imaginations???? Nothing can be confirmed until the word is out! Let me wait.
Picture Courtesy: Ram Babu who I address as Painter Babu. He was a great artist, now no more. He specially designed a few images for me on my request.
I published this story long back in an Indian site, Boddunan and now re-posting again.