Meera Reborn – An Untold Love Story Told For You (Part 3/3)

Part 1 Link: Meera Reborn – An Untold Love Story Told For You (Part 1/3)

Part 2 Link: Meera Reborn – An Untold Love Story Told For You (Part 2/3)

PART 17 – From springs and blossoms to thorns and confusions

Till then, her journey from dance classes to home when she walked alone in the evening was one of the most beautiful moments she cherished for. She used to think a lot about day’s happenings, enjoy the nature, setting sun and enjoyable dreams a lot too. But today, it became a never-ending journey to her.

“He asked me if my mind has any block. He is willing to reveal everything if I reveal my heart’s secrets. I don’t know why he put such a condition today and you know it better, I can’t tell about Varun to anyone, even Hari”.

It was a brief conversation taken place in the afternoon between Meera and Abhi.

‘Yes I am sure Hari told so to avoid Abhi’s questions forever. Hari is 100% sure Abhi is not going to tell such a secret to him and he can escape every time, quoting the same ‘block’ tag. Yes, he understands everything. He rejected me after knowing my heart, I am sure’.

When she reached home after dance classes, it was power cut. Darkness spread everywhere. Was it just co-incidence?

That night Meera didn’t spend under stars and moon. Instead she locked her up inside the room. Instead of dreams and hopes, she wrote a poem about darkness of mind. It happened so quick that, she couldn’t even understand that she was pouring her mind on a sheet of paper. A man who has lost his desires is nothing short of a disaster. A person can loss everything not only when he losses what he dreams to possess, but also what he dreams actually. It took many years for Meera to understand this fact and this disaster followed her as her shadow even after years. Truth is that she never dared to dream anything in her life later!!!

Her mind still got stuck thinking what to do next. She had a strong feeling that Hari has doubted her. So, it’s her duty to clear those doubts. Otherwise she can’t mingle or talk with him. She wanted him, at least as a good friend in her life. For that she decided to treat him as a good friend and talk to him as nothing has happened between them. Also she decided to gain more courage and talk to him as much as she can, as a good friend. As Hari has cleared his stand, it’s her duty too, Meera thought so.

Her mind was so troubled inside that she began to think that, if she sits quiet for a while, everyone will read her mind. So, from the next day onwards she pretended to be more happy than usual. She also noticed that the following day, Hari didn’t talk to her and to diminish even the small air of doubts, from the next day on, she changed a lot…….She used to keep her always busy and engaged throughout the day. But when she reaches home, she tore off that pretending face and spent hours in some lonely places, locked in room or beneath stars, staying away from everyone. With heavy heart, she used to sleep at late nights and wrote several poems. Again the next day morning, she wore the same smiling cap to hide her face from everyone. She became successful too, though she was breaking inside.

“Can you sing a song for us, Meera?”

Three – Meera, Hari and Abhi were sitting outside on the staircases, when Abhi requested her to sing a song. Hari was in a thoughtful mood and Meera has noticed it earlier. Meera was quite surprised with that request, as she hadn’t told anyone about her dreams except Abhi.

“Sing Meera. I too haven’t heard your voice”, Hari said calmly.

She sang two lines of a song. But it doesn’t sound good.

“I am not able to, Hari.” Meera said.

“Yes, it’s OK”, Hari was still in another world.

“The person who marries Meera is a lucky person. Isn’t it Hari? She will kill him with her love. Am I not right, Hari?”, Abhi asked.

“Yes, you are right. But there is one big problem”

“What?”

“She loves others more than anyone else can. But the problem is that she expects the same thing in return and she won’t get it”.

“But now I have stopped Hari, expecting from others. Now I know it well. Our mind will remain happy only when we expect less from others”

Neither Abhi nor Hari replied anything and after a while, when Hari left them Meera asked Abhi, “Didn’t you notice Abhi? Something is wrong with Hari, he was gloomy”.

“Ya, I noticed. May be we just felt so”

Meera did expect a positive response from Abhi. So her mind sank hearing such a cold reply.

“Meera….”

“Yes…”

“Now I have a strong feeling that you are hiding something from me. There is something which I can’t connect”

“No, nothing”

“Tell me the truth. Haven’t you ever felt that Hari has such feelings towards you???”

It was the same question Meera expected from Abhi since the moment she told the secret. But it took almost one month for Abhi to ask her that question.

“Yes Abhi, yes. That’s how my mind too…..”

A month passed by. She spent those days in smiles and laughs only. She thought that by doing so, she has won everything as she didn’t cry even for a single moment. But it became very late when she knew that it was only a fake coin fate gave her. By this time, Hari was far away from her and an invisible wall has already built in between them. It was not an easy task for her to reach him too. She also couldn’t figure out if everything happened was for good or bad. 

“Now it’s only 6 months left. After that, I am not sure what I am going to do”, once Meera opened her mind before Abhi.

“So, now you are feeling sad. You had closeness with Hari for just one month. Yet you are feeling so. Then what about me? It has been more than 2 years”.

Meera became quiet for a moment. Then she replied, “Abhi, closeness of mind is not measured with time, but with moments. He became close to me only in a short period. But in those few days, the bond I developed with him, I can’t explain it to you. It is more than what moments of years and millenniums can give someone”.

There was a deep silence for a while and it was Meera who broke it first.

“Abhi…”

“Yes…”

“It’s not just one month Abhi…..”

“Then…..”

“It was since last year, the moment for the first time since Hari told us about his love. I don’t know how it happened. But I felt like he was talking about me……..”

Abhi didn’t reply.

“Are you angry with me that I hid it from you?”

“Not at all”

“Now I won’t hide anything. Will tell you everything”

PART 18 – Those feelings replicated back

Though she could find more time to spend with Hari, hearts were moving apart. The invisible string of that unique language between the two souls got broken abruptly.

It was the last day Hari took so much freedom in her. After that day, they moved fully apart.

After meals, Hari caught Meera and made her sit near him inside classroom.

“What Hari?”

“I want to hear a song”.

Meera was so surprised, because that day, he was not at all interested in her song. Now what happened? She was sure, Hari will make her sing even if she denies several times.

“Ok, I will do”

More classmates crowded around them and they had their own requests too. It was for the first time, she got recognized as a singer among her friends, one of her hidden dreams. Yet she couldn’t feel happy. After sometime one after one, everyone left except Abhi, Swathi, Ullas and Hari.

“I am going Meera. There is no class in the afternoon”, Abhi left the classroom.

“I am also coming”, Swathi too left the class with Abhi.

There were other groups in the class chatting. Meera was with Hari and Ullas.

Suddenly she couldn’t believe her eyes. Hari’s eyes were filled with tears. A deep agony arose deep inside her heart. It seemed as if Hari’s eyes were telling something.

“What happened Hari? What happened?” worried Meera asked. With this question, tears flowed out of his eyes and he kept looking at Meera’s eyes. To hide her troubled mind, she kept asking, “What’s it? Tell me please”. Did she overreact?

“Nothing”, Hari replied. But his eyes were fixed on her. By this time, Ullas started teasing him singing a few songs and Meera sat nervous in between two boys. But it was something like someone has lit her lamp of desires and dreams once again. A ray of hope! It seemed as if both are trying to convey some message to Meera. But Meera’s worrying mind couldn’t detect it. Suddenly Hari sang a song for her, a song of separation and not understanding the feelings, and Meera sat in silence listening. 

“Do you know Meera? Swathi is really a nice girl. But she has no good friends here. So she often comes near me, tells her worries and I give her good company”

She could easily identify that it’s Hari’s trick to change the topic.  But she too cooled herself saying, “I will definitely try to give her good company. After all, I know well what the feeling of loneliness is”.

As soon as she reached home, she called Abhi and said everything. It was for the first time she talked with Abhi after gaining some confidence.

“For the past few days, I have been observing Hari so closely. It seems as if he hides something. Yes, it’s something like love. I feel so, but not in your case Meera. But someone else…..”, the next day when Abhi told her so, Meera lost her last ray of hope. Her face went gloomy. But she didn’t reply anything.

“It happened soon after Swathi left the class. Right?”

“Yes….”

Abhi didn’t ask anything else.

In the evening Meera told Abhi one thing, “Now my mind is enough strong to accept anything on earth, even the biggest earthquakes and volcanoes. It’s also easy for me to accept that Hari is in love with someone else. Yet I have decided not to. Why should I always loss my dreams for the sake of others? Now I am not at all willing so. You may believe it’s someone else. But please don’t tell so to me anymore.”

“Yes Meera, I agreed. Even if I strongly feel so, I will never tell you so. It’s my word”.

PART 19 – What more worsen can happen!

“Now most of the students of our batch have changed a lot. We have become so active and those who were active earlier have become silent”

Meera was trying to engage in a conversation with Hari in the afternoon break. She just wanted to show Hari that she is happy and living a normal life. Meera laughed after saying this comment, as if she had told some joke. Hari was in a gloomy mood and she was trying to cheer him up.

“Ya, you are right. I can see changes in some persons here”, Hari’s words were so sharp. Meera became speechless for a moment and she got stuck in some thought. She couldn’t find a reply to it.

‘Is he saying I have changed a lot? Is so, are my assumptions true? If so, has he noticed I am purposefully acting? If so, has he noticed my changes? Is he blaming me that I have done something wrong? Is he thinking I have cheated him’, Meera’s mind filled with thousands of unsolved puzzles.

“Hari, if I ask you something will you tell me the truth?”

“What do you want to know?”

“Promise me that you will tell me the truth.”

“I can’t promise. If you want to ask something you can ask”

“That day, what happened Hari? Why were your eyes filled with tears?”

“I have told you that day itself. Some dust went inside my eyes. Also, very often my eyes fill with tears without any reason. Nothing else.”

“Can I believe it 100%? Don’t change the word later”

“Yes, 100%”, Hari’s words sound confident. Once again she lost her last hope and her heart sank once again as usual…..

The worlds of Meera and Hari changed so quickly. Meera tried to find more time to spend with Hari, thinking that everything is going to end within a few months and her mind just wanted to be with Hari always. But Hari behaved just opposite. Earlier Hari was so interested in talking to Meera. After this single incident, Hari tried to avoid her at most. Instead he tried to make more friendship with Abhi. When Hari neglects Meera in Abhi’s presence and behaves romantically to Abhi, it hurt Meera a lot. But Abhi tried to remain close with him to know him more and give some good news to Meera. It always ended up Abhi telling her that everything is Meera’s imaginations!

To add more troubles, Meera’s mind started assuming that Hari is reading her mind very clear. But he is avoiding her to move far away from troubles that can affect both their lives. But the next moment her mind confuses in the thoughts that Hari is assuming wrong about her and that she is misinterpreting his friendship in a wrong way. In some other moments, she thinks that feelings are only from her side and Hari regards her as a good friend, nothing else. For the same reason, her mind was worried always and she never tried to reason or find out why Hari is so gloomy nowadays in her presence. But she really wanted to see smiling Hari once again. Seeing Hari in an unhappy mood, her mind wanders here and there and behaves as if it has entered some devil’s rest house.

How many moments have come and gone. Seeing troubled Hari, Meera tries to comfort him as a good friend; Abhi never misses to ask him the reason and she never cares if Meera is present with them or not. Truth is that Hari becomes gloomy mostly in Meera’s presence. Or was it Meera’s agony that reflected in Hari’s eyes? While seeing such moments, Meera assumes that Hari will reveal his mind the next moment. So, she prepares herself to say the same thing to Hari. But what to do? He denies each and every time to Abhi’s questions, giving Meera only despairs every time. Though nothing is talked about Meera, after witnessing such a rejection in front of her eyes her heart breaks to thousand pieces though it forgets to shed tears. It also becomes a difficult task for Meera to believe once again that nothing was there from Hari’s side and she assumed everything wrong. Her mind oscillates between ‘yes’ and ‘no’ with equal pace like a pendulum, without reaching any destination point or stopping somewhere.

So, after every such occasion she tries to remain happier than before as nothing is affecting her and she often feels, Hari feels sadder after seeing Meera with a smiling face, though she often assumes that it’s just her thought of mind. She was very much frightened inside.

Now Meera has forgotten those moments when Hari showed interest to talk to her. Nowadays she started complaining to him. But he never gives a reply. To the worst, Hari grew closer to Abhi and he even forgets Meera’s presence. He presents her with wonderful gifts, says sweet romantic words and Abhi too replicates in return, as if to tease Hari. Meera was pretty clear, he is doing so to make her feel jealous and in true sense, she felt so though she never shows off to both. She had 100% belief in Abhi and that’s the only reason why she could tolerate it. But very often she strongly felt that Hari is taking revenge on her in this way because she rejected him! But she had no means to tell him, what’s going on in her mind and that she can’t even imagine a world with dreams of someone else.

It’s also true that she was not sure what to say if Hari expresses his feelings, because her mind has already lost that confidence to say ‘Yes’ to Hari and give him promises. Negative thoughts of Abhi have already influenced Meera a lot. But her mind was not willing to say no too. But she was often confused, ‘Am I really in love?’

Her mind equally swayed in between the thoughts that Hari is in love with her and that all are her mere imaginations. The moment when Hari denies it, she feels that she will die the next moment and every time she could find her cracking inside when she hides it without anyone’s notice. She just imagines for a moment what the world without Hari will be and how can she place someone else in his position.

“Meera, I have decided Hari to tell about Varun”

Meera stared at Abhi. ‘Can she do it for me?’, Meera’s find filled with gratitude.

“Yes Meera. I have been thinking for a few days. Hari is such a close friend to me and I should tell him something before I leave. Now only a few days left. It’s the last and final attempt I can do for you.”

Meera too determined and took decision in her mind, ‘This is the last chance for Hari. Now also if he says no one is there in his mind, I should take courage to move on. It’s my promise to myself’. She 100% believed that it’s not going to happen and that Hari will definitely open his mind as soon as Abhi opens her mind.

But this time too, it proved false.

“Meera, there is no one in Hari’s mind. He is just playing prank with us. Today he gave me his clear stand and he will never change his word again”.

Did Meera’s mind hear those words? Abhi was not sure.

“Meera how many times I have told you to move on. It’s you who never believed my words. Now I have revealed my mind and he clearly stated that his mind is clear and it’s we people who annoys him saying that he is in love with someone. What else to do Meera? We can’t do anything or resist our parents. But I just thought of giving you some happiness by knowing Hari’s mind. That too went wrong. Though I have not mentioned who he is, I told Hari that there is someone in my life. He is now teasing me a lot and wants to know who he is”.

“Then?”

“He told me, it’s not necessary that I shall give him more details. He is willing to ask you or Asha and know the details. I became so angry that I left the place”.

PART 20 – Meera made some strong decisions

Now Meera’s mind stood somewhere and she was able to take some decisions of her own. ‘If Hari is OK and nothing is there in his mind, is it not wise I too move away with my life?’

She sat beneath the stars at midnight and strongly took some decisions. But after that her mind got some peace.

“Now I have decided to move on Abhi”, Meera said with a calm mind to Abhi the next day. Now her mind was almost clear and she had decided to leave everything to destiny and give time a chance to change and heal her. “Yesterday it took quite a long time to come to this decision. I could feel that my mind is aching. It felt so strange to me, as it happened after many months I felt pain in my heart. But after my mind came to this strong decision, I felt light and peace of mind after many months. It’s the right decision. I could have done it earlier. Now even if Hari comes near me and tells so, I will strongly tell him, ‘I have never felt so even for a single moment’. I have changed my decision to reveal everything to Hari”.

“Don’t take such a decision so fast Meera…..”

Why did Abhi reverse her normal talks? Quite strange! Meera was not sure about it and a bit surprised too. But Meera was strongly determined in her mind about her decisions and believed that her mind is in her control right now.

One week gone without any happenings.

“I have started teasing him. Just wait what I can do now. “

Meera didn’t notice what Abhi was saying.

“Meera, I want to tell you something”

Meera and Abhi were on a usual shopping.

“Meera, nowadays I feel that Hari feels troubled and sad in your presence”

“Abhi, what else do you want to purchase? It seems it will rain today”

“Meera I am telling you something.”

“I have already told you, it’s a closed chapter”.

“No Meera. Till now I didn’t even feel any doubt. But I have noticed a few times, he is watching you when we both didn’t notice him. He is really troubled a lot Meera, in his mind. But he is not courageous to express his feelings. That’s the problem.”

“At last you believed me. It’s enough for me”, Meera broke down once again and she was almost on tears.

“Now you really look like a lover”

Meera didn’t reply to her.

“Till now, I strongly believed that it was Swathi. That’s the reason why whenever you positively tell about him, I discouraged you. I did so only because I don’t want to see you completely broken down someday knowing the truth.”

Meera couldn’t believe her ears.

“So till now, you have assuming that…..”, she couldn’t finish her words.

“Yes Meera. I promised you that day. That’s the reason why I never expressed my doubts later”.

“Unbelievable….. Unbelievable”.

“How cunningly he fooled me, Meera. How many times I have asked him? How easily he made me believe! Just wait and see I am going to teach him a lesson.”

“No Abhi, no. If he has decided to move on, why should we? Leave it”.

When they returned back after shopping it was raining heavily.

“Do you remember Abhi? That day when I told you about Hari, it was heavily raining like this”

“Yes I remember. Everything is repeating”

“Meera, please don’t feel it bad. Nothing is there in our hands. I always advise you because I want to see you happy and not lose yourself in someone who doesn’t love you at all”.

“I lost myself long back” – Meera said to herself.

PART 21: At last Hari tells something

Though she told Abhi that she doesn’t want to know anything, the word told by Abhi has given her a new life, that’s the truth. Her mind felt light, free of thoughts nowadays and she started preparations for final exam which is only one month away.

“How many times you both have asked me, what it is. Ok today, I will tell everything”

Unexpectedly when Hari told Meera and Abhi so, Meera lost her heart beat for a moment.

“I don’t want to know Hari”, what Meera told was just justifiable. She has already started building a new world without Hari, though she dreamt in mind, Hari will definitely return some day in future.

Hari was very much surprised hearing such a confident Meera. Or was he scared that ball is not in his court now? Meera could feel Hari’s scared mind for a moment.

“No no, I am going to tell you right now”. He came and sat near Abhi. Meera felt like dizziness and her heart started trembling once again. One thing was sure, Meera’s mind was not courage enough to face such a situation or hear whatever he say.

Meera was sitting near Abhi and she couldn’t hear what the conversation is going on between Hari and Abhi. As she felt uncomfortable, she concentrated on completing her notes though she kept her ears sharp. She could hear only a few wordings, “Like any boy I too felt that I need a girlfriend at college. So my friend showed me a girl and I tried. I was not serious at all. But very late, I realized that it became serious. Now I don’t know what to do. Abhi tell me please, what should I do now?”

The whole world revolved around Meera and stood before her and exploded. For a moment she felt that she was sitting in some unknown dark planet with unfamiliar things around. Sitting there alone, her mind wept a lot.

“Meera, are you listening?”

Hari’s words brought her back to present world.

“Yes”

‘Thousand thoughts sprinkle from her mind like droplets of rain. What is he saying? He started everything for fun? But what did I assume? Such things are common in college life. But I never dreamt Hari would play such a dirty game with me. Doesn’t he know my character? I am not like normal girls. It was better he had not told it’, Meera’s mind wept and it was not easy for her to accept it.

‘What have I thought about him? But he? Is he thinking that I made it serious’, Meera couldn’t control her feelings. Same was the case of Abhi too.

“Abhi, tell me please what should I do now?” Hari asked Abhi.

Meera was sure, Hari is opening his mind before her and that whatever he told was right.

“Meera, you tell me. What should I do now?”

Meera sat quiet. Suddenly Manu came near Hari to ask something. In that moment, Meera left the place.

In the evening while Meera and Abhi went to college library, after some time, Hari and Ullas reached there. As it was not usual, Meera felt that they purposefully came there. Hari was really in a distressed mood. But Meera didn’t really care him.

“What happened Hari? Why you look so distressed?”, Abhi asked him.

“Till now there was no problem. The moment I stepped in, I feel troubled”, replied Hari and sat on a chair.

“Then why did you come here, Hari?”, Meera burst out. It was for the first time she talked so loud to Hari.

“You both never believe me. You never believe my words”

“That’s what happens if someone lies so much. Even if he tells truth no one believes him”, Meera was sure her words will hurt Hari a lot. Yet she was not willing to loss at least this moment.

“Abhi, I want to reach home earlier. Just take books fast”.

Abhi was trying to comfort Hari, but Meera stood still. Suddenly Hari’s mood changed and he looked happy.

“Now see me. Am I not happy?”

Meera’s mind got confused. What happened a few moments ago, her mind failed to recollect, though it was as usual. Meera didn’t wait for Abhi and she left library. Very soon Abhi followed her.

When they reached bus stop, Abhi failed to identify what’s going on in Meera’s mind. Meera laughed aloud and aloud. It was exactly the same moment when Abhi could identify how Meera smiled before her sorrows that took place in her life for the past 6 or 7 months.

“How could you laugh Meera?”

“It’s called walking without rope. It happened so unexpected. That’s why my mind plays so. After some moments it will become normal. Don’t worry Darling”.

“Who knows what each person carries in his mind. At each moment he says something that’s not easy to connect”.

“I think it’s common for all boys. They start everything for fun. When it becomes serious, they just leave it. They never think what’s going on in girl’s mind. All decisions are also taken by them. Girls don’t play any part here. I am sure, that friend was Ullas. Just see, I saw them as good friends and what trick they played on me”.

“If it is another lie told by Hari? Already he has lied thousand times”, Abhi tried to cool Meera.

“No Abhi, it was not a lie. I know it”.

“I have told several times, if he doesn’t care you, why should you Meera? Do you think I never noticed Hari avoiding you and you become mood off? I often see you sitting somewhere alone in deep thoughts. But after sometime, you sit in the group where Hari is as if nothing has happened”

“Because I thought he will understand me someday and will return back. Because he taught me to love without expectations. Also I never thought Hari to be a third person. If someone of our family do some mistake, do we leave them?”

PART 22: The Final Days at College

Abhi didn’t expect much from Varun. But she really longed to hear a word from Varun that he loved her. She was going through the worst days of her life and parting was really painful for her. But for Meera, already she was living in some strange world where physical presence of a person has nothing to do with her life. Abhi couldn’t get a positive word from Varun, nor did she expect it. But Varun hurt her a lot stating that he has never felt for her. And that he avoided her when he realized that Abhi was falling for him. It was more than what Abhi could tolerate. When they shook hands saying that they were just friends, Abhi was silently crying inside. But she lost the last ray of hope! Yes, here too boy took the decision, not the girl, though both were equally responsible.

“Meera, we two are worrying that we will part with them. But, what about we two? We too, will choose two different destinations and move ahead leaving everything behind. Don’t you feel sad to part from me?”

“Actually I don’t feel we are to part. We both are so close to each other that I never bother our physical parting. Same is the case of Hari and this college too. I really don’t feel so. Now I feel it’s better we both didn’t express our feelings for each other. Still he is a good friend of mine and I can talk and mingle with him freely. Otherwise it may not possible for me. The day we express each other, the friendship bond will be broken. It’s better to keep promises without promises and wait for the right moment till my marriage. I am patient enough. Hoping it’s the case with him too. Now also what can we do if everything is revealed? Nothing, except waiting. Now I can introduce him to my friends or family as ‘my friend’. I think it’s the better choice. I am sure he won’t forget me and will take a strong decision at the right moment. He can’t leave me I am 100% sure about it. He can definitely read my mind too. Till then let me enjoy our friendship”.

“Meera still now you are in a dream world. It’s not going to happen. If Hari really wants you he would have given you a word. Please Meera come out of the dream world. He is not meant for you. Otherwise everything would have gone smooth. You at least told him something. What did you get in return?”

Meera’s mind goes to vacuum and her mind goes silent whenever Abhi fills her mind with negative thoughts and brainwash her.

Yet everyday as usual, she comforted herself stating it’s a test of time and one day will come when she proves Abhi was wrong.

Yes two days back, Meera purposefully asked Hari to spare half an hour for her. She also felt the need to say something before she leaves college. She just told him, though everyone feels that Meera is a happy girl, that’s not the case. She has a few problems and all happened due to a silly decision she took overnight. She even told that she has lost her tears and it’s not easy for her to recover from the shock she has received as a part of her bad decision. Yet, Hari was not in a mood to ask about it nor was he interested. For the same thing Meera concluded her talks thinking that, ‘At least I expressed something’. She felt that it’s Hari’s revenge as she was not willing to hear his mind a few days back!!!

The farewell day arrived.

For Abhi, it’s that scary day she has been fearing of, since the past two three years. But for Meera, it’s simply a day as usual.

“Hari, I am angry with you”, when Hari reached classroom that day, Meera went near him and told so. Actually she was hiding her sadness over a special thing.

“Please don’t make me mood off in the early morning Meera”

“Really I am angry with you. Yet it’s OK, actually I didn’t expect it yesterday”.

“What’s it Meera?”

“It’s OK, I am telling you.”

“What?”

“Just try to remember”

“So, there is something. I thought it’s your usual talk” Hari kept thinking.

“No problem it’s OK. Show me your hands”, Meera opened a small bag and put some sweets inside Hari’s hands. “Yesterday it was my birthday. Last time you called me to greet, remember? So I thought perhaps this time you will …….”

“Really sorry Meera, I forgot”

“Please don’t say sorry. It’s OK. Actually I didn’t expect your call yesterday. So I didn’t feel sad. If we don’t expect, we don’t feel sad too. Is it not the same thing you advise me every time?”

Suddenly Hari’s face faded.

“It’s Ok Hari. Cheer up” and Meera left the place.

Meera had already pre-decided, even if Hari ignores her on the farewell day, she won’t care it and she would talk to him as a good friend. She assumed that at least this day Hari won’t play such games at her and won’t take excuses to keep her away. But Hari purposefully avoided her the whole day. She silently sit beside Hari and Kavya while they were talking. Hours grew long and after 1 hour she got up, as she failed to tolerate more – his negligence in the presence of someone else. It was more than every extreme Meera could tolerate. So, in the afternoon leaving all those pretentions, she sat silent with Abhi for a while. She could easily read what’s going on in Abhi’s mind.    

Now it’s the moment of parting…..

Though she was mood off, when she approached Hari to say the final good bye, she wore the same smiling cap once again for the last time. But this time she felt as if she is unconscious.

“Hari, this day too you avoided me. You didn’t talk to me at least a single word”.

“I also think the same. But today morning itself you made me mood off. Also, when I talk to other friends of the class, time just passes by and I never get time to talk to you.”

“It’s always better to find time ourselves rather than blaming the time. Look at me, I find time to talk with each one of the class, because I really desire so. If our mind really desires, time will definitely come that way.”

“Meera, let us go”, Abhi reached there in a haste.

“Ya, like this,” Hari said –“Whenever we two start talking someone will come in between”

Meera (To Abhi): I will come, just 5 minutes.

Abhi said good bye to both and left the classroom. Suddenly Meera could feel a sad air just crept in. She was preparing to control her feelings to herself. She has never seen Ullas in such a bad mood; same was the case of Hari.

“What happened to you both?”

Both didn’t reply anything.

“Hari will you call me once in a while?”

“Ya, definitely. Once in three or four months. Then only it has some value. For instance, if I call you regularly for the next two months and later call after 6 months, then you will complain always. So is it not better to call so once in every three or four months, at a regular break?”

“Ullas, are you hearing? Hari is using the same weapon against me. He is repeating the same dialogues that I have told him a few days earlier”, Meera tried to bring some cheer to the atmosphere, “Ullas, what happened to you? Actually what happened to you both?”

Both kept silent.

“I have a good medicine to cheer you both”, Meera caught hold of Ullas’ hands and put some sweets inside it. She did the same with Hari too and told the last words, “Till now I don’t feel that our college days have ended and we are parting. Then why should I feel sad? So, I am not going say good bye to both as usual”.

When she walked the college steps for the last time, she just turned once. She just wanted to tell a word to Hari or to just smile at him. Hari was still standing there like a statue. His eyes were fixed in the ground. Seeing this, she didn’t call him. She turned and started walking slowly. She turned back repeatedly three or four times. Hari was still standing there looking downwards as a wax statue.

When she reached bus stop Abhi was still there. There was a good sign of rain. Meera’s mind too reciprocated it the same way.

“At least I gave you one word. But think about Hari. Till now he doesn’t know about you Meera. How much his heart might me aching now when you just left him without knowing him anything!” Abhi told these words, as if she read Meera’s mind.

“Who said Hari knows nothing. He knows everything”

It has already started raining. It was something like fresh news to Abhi.

“What are you saying Meera? Hari knows you……”, Abhi was struggling to complete her words.

“If not why should I feel tension when you talk to him in my presence? Do you know how much my heart pains when he rejects me every time? I was sure if he has something in his mind he can definitely sense my mood chances, otherwise definitely not. As you are sure from his side, yes, it’s proved, he sensed my thoughts too. Can you imagine what thoughts are going on in my mind every time he says ‘no’? It seems as if he purposefully rejects me.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me Meera? I have done a big mistake, really a big mistake.” Abhi was restless while telling so.

“Haven’t I told you? I have told you several times, but you never understood!!!!!” said Meera desperately.

PART 23: Days after college

It was bit surprising. But Meera got a job in a far away from her place, soon after exam results. Meera too desired for a change. So she decided to join it. Abhi went to join a computer diploma course while Hari decided to complete journalism at Mumbai. Ullas too, left Bangalore to join MBA.

When she got the job, the first person she informed was Hari. But about Hari’s admission, she got to know from other friends.

“Is he still angry with me? Is his mind not filled yet, taking revenge on me?”

Even the day before Hari left Bangalore, he didn’t call Meera. She came to know about it from Ullas and called Hari at night. She scolded him a lot and Hari kept hearing.

“Meera this month I made too many phone calls and my mother scolds me too much. That’s the only reason why I didn’t call you”.

“Hari, you can call other friends of our class except me. Right? You always advise me, never expect anything from others, never expect. I have added one more sentence to your quote. Never expect anything from others in return. But we should be able to give more than what others expect from us. Ok Hari, good bye”.

At the right moment, she lost the complete grip over Hari and the feeling of uncertainty with unfilled decisions was not easy for Meera to carry on. She took a piece of paper to pour her heart into it.

But next month Hari called Meera and gave her his new mobile number. She too joined her job and soon as she reached there she called Hari and gave her new number.

Though marriage proposals were going on at Meera’s home, it was postponed for the next four years due to some problems in her horoscope. It was something like a new life to Meera. But she was not sure, the extended life of 4 years, can it bring some surprise packages to her life, or is it only an extension of ‘death sentence’. Yet she decided in her mind, to continue the relationship for the next 4 years within the barriers of friendship. She was 100% sure Hari will return back one day.

In the new world, she made some new friends; Prasad – a poet at her office who was a bit philosophic too and Krishna – an orphan with whom she shared all her secrets. She shared unique friendship relationships with both. While Krishna belonged to world of people with physical feelings of sadness and happiness, Prasad belonged to the same world where Meera lives, entirely different from physical world. Meera carried both with ease. She too lived in a poetic world. Like many friendship relations, Krishna forgot Meera when she got married. Though Meera didn’t expect so from Krishna, she accepted the fact. Her relationship with Hari continued only through those phone calls, once a month or 6 weeks taking regular breaks. Yes…. As true friends.

Abhi’s marriage happened the following year. At the last moment too, she dreamt for Varun’s return that never happened. Varun too got married after two years, surprisingly a love marriage that shocked Meera a lot.

PART 24: After Four Years

She waited for Hari for long 5.5 years. She spent each and every moment of her life thinking of him only. She couldn’t enjoy the world around her. But Hari didn’t return!!! Yes Abhi was right. Hari had moved on, though Meera was still caught in that magic world waiting for him. It was only at that moment when Meera realized ‘Yes, Abhi was right, not me’.

At the end of two years, Hari gave her a birthday present. It was a birthday card, “Happy birthday My sister….”

Meera wondered what prompted Hari to take such a harsh step. Perhaps she might be the only lover in the world who received such a ‘terrifying’ birthday gift. She was almost unconscious when she received the gift. Yet as it’s told, love is blind she ignored it believing that Hari will return. It was also a revenge, actually. A few months back he sent him New Year greetings, with captions clearly saying ‘Some one special’ & ‘Yours….’ But she was not courage enough to express, and she didn’t want to break the friendship bond; already she has promised to herself for next 4 years. 

She might have turned down more than 200 proposals waiting for Hari. She even told her younger sister about Hari, asking for her support. But she didn’t. Not only that, she informed her mother about Hari. Each time Meera found strange reasons to deny a proposal and at one moment, she couldn’t find any reason at all. It was that moment when her mother told her she knows everything about Hari. She was even willing to talk to Hari about the matter. But at that moment Meera took the hard decision of her life, “No! No need for my mother to beg before anyone”.

What Meera did was absolutely right. Through some calls, she had informed Hari that her marriage may be fixed soon. But she didn’t get any positive calls from Hari. Even Abhi tried the same thing for Meera, to get the same reply.

“Abhi I made the great mistake in my life by waiting for him. If he has no space for me in his heart, then why should I? Will I remain happy by marrying such a person who doesn’t care for me? I lost almost 6 years and all my happiness and enjoyments of my early 20s thinking about this person only. Already my parents are worried about me. They put a lot of pressure on me to get married. I have decided, now I should move on. My mind has reached all the sorrows of life beyond extremes. Now it can withstand anything that can happen, though not sure enough I can love someone else. I am not dreaming about a happy family life or expecting any good thing to happen in my life. Let anything happen whatever it is, whether good or bad.”

“Never say so Meera, you are a nice girl. You will get all happiness on earth. I am sure about it.”

Even Meera was not sure how her mind accepted a new person to her life so quickly. Unexpectedly the new person gave her all happiness, she has always longed too and what she expected from Hari. She forgot sorrows associated with Hari very soon. May be it’s a human mind and its ability to accept new things. Or it may be it’s her will power to overcome the situation. But she made it! On the day of her marriage, like any bride, she was the happiest girl on earth.

After 4 years Hari too got married. Hari called her to invite her family to his wedding. But Meera purposefully avoided it. Since her marriage she talks only a little about Hari to Abhi. She continued so after Hari’s marriage too. Hari tried to maintain relationship after her marriage as a good friend, but Meera didn’t, which hurt Hari a lot. She moved far away from him purposefully. After all who will prefer the shadows of past memories to fall on future path…..!

“Abhi, earlier I thought if you love and find someone, you should marry that person only. Otherwise it’s not possible to live happily with someone else. But now I feel, it was better love happened once in my life and that broke too. At least now, I know how to love the person whom I marry. At least Hari taught me how to love someone and the real essence of love. It’s true only a person who has lost a love can find it from someone else and treasure it most. It’s that particular moment only when she starts loving that ‘precious love’ sincerely…..”

It was during one of those happy days of her life when she told Abhi so. Meera has already started building a new world of dreams and hopes.

But once again, everything went shattered. Can love loss its freshness as time passes by? It happened in Meera’s life as well when her husband couldn’t fit her as a part of his life. He gave everything to her, except love and Meera lived in a world of loneliness and never wanted to mingle with anyone. For the whole world Meera is a happy wife and she ‘acted’ her part perfectly without any mistake. Once again, the only person who knew her better was Abhilasha.

“Now I am confirmed, love is not meant for me.”

“It quite happens in one’s life….a person may find his love at least the second time. But in your case…..” Abhi stopped.

“Yet I am happy Hari got a good wife and a prosperous married life. It’s better he didn’t marry this unlucky girl.” Meera told Abhi later. Abhi’s face faded.

“He is too good for me Abhi…..Cheer up yaar. After all we want to see our loved ones happy, though they are not a part of our lives”

“Meera….”

“That’s the reason why I avoid him the most. Now I can’t stand before him with confidence and say, ‘Look Hari, I got the world’s best husband, the person who understands me most…The person with whom I never feel lonely. You were not so’……..But he can stand before me and say all these words. It can hurt me yaar, though I don’t want so. It’s my failure before him, though I know well to act before him. I can hide my sorrows from Hari as always, but not from me”

PART 25: The new beginning

Meera woke up from her memories. It’s already 2 pm. She took her mobile and texted Abhi, to meet her in the evening at the sea shore.

The sun is about to set.

“Abhi, yesterday I wanted to tell you a happy news, but forgot. We are expecting a child.”

“Really? Congratulations! So………”

“Yes. Perhaps a child can heal all my wounds and restore all my happiness once again. Hoping it will be a new beginning. I am still in a dream world now. He really loves me yaar, though he doesn’t know how to show it. Wrong communications can interpret one’s expressions in a wrong way. He has changed a lot and has promised me to give everything back, the way I dreamt about”

“I too really wish so. I have never met an unlucky person like you in my life. But our world always rotates Meera; it keeps moving. Nothing is stable on earth, nor is our bad days. I have read your mind more than anyone else in this world. Now it’s your time Meera. Go and purchase your life and dreams at any cost.”

“Now also, I never feel I have done a wrong thing by letting it go. It was not meant for me, as you have told…. I have tried my level from my side. So I have no regrets at all. Throughout my life I won’t regret it all.”

“Yes, it is. I know. Meera, please don’t feel bad that I hid the matter from you for many years. It lasted only 1 month or so. It was destiny nothing else.” 

“Do you know, I often think I am really an unlucky person. So it was better that Hari didn’t accept this unlucky person to his life. After all we always want our loved ones to stay happy always, in our presence or not. Till now I dreamt that he is living happy in some part of the world away from this unlucky person’s shadows. I have always prayed to God to give him a good life. But ……”

“I know it well. That’s why I didn’t tell you anything about it. I advise him often to get married again. But he never listens my words”.

“I thought at least he………That’s why I have always avoided the functions, get-togethers etc. Forget it.  Till now he doesn’t know what really happened between us and how we fell apart. And he didn’t even understand how I spent those five and a half years, longing and waiting for him patiently, with full belief in him that he will return. The cruel game of fate!!! May be it was right! And now……” Meera stopped in the middle and look at the roaring tides that’s frightening her. ‘Perhaps a new beginning…….’

The dusk is so beautiful right now, as she is always. Sun has already said good bye; but after giving a new hope of a morning break as usual. Dusk is smiling. Yes, promise of a better tomorrow.

Yes, many things are still in mind….

Those happy moments…

Those sad moments…

Those sharing moments…..

Those new lessons which love gave …..

The moment when heart accepted the fact that a love bond can definitely form between two persons…..and that too irrespective of age, social or religious indifferences……

That heart breaking moment when heart has to forcefully believe that whom it treasured close to heart was not really so or not meant to be….

That ….. heart breaking is the biggest pain of earth…..

That …… a heart can forget everything on earth, even himself when it falls in love with a single person among billions of people who exist on earth…… really an amazing truth!!!!

“He was not meant for me, as you told. Yet I treasure some simple moments when he taught me real lessons of life, those last days at campus life, the moments which I felt someone is there for me, those excursion days, those carings and above all, that particular song he likes most. They are all special things for me and its fragrance won’t loss, though its colours may fade with time. Yet everything has a perfect timing. Sand falling inside mussels’ shell won’t always convert to pearls, but only those with perfect time. Time is very important. If it’s gone out of our hands, then we need to wait for time’s convenience and not ours. Lost is lost and let me move forward with the new dawn break. Now also I have no regrets over the past…..Ok see you later.”

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Part 1 Link: Meera Reborn – An Untold Love Story Told For You (Part 1/3)

Part 2 Link: Meera Reborn – An Untold Love Story Told For You (Part 2/3)