What’s the ideal age gap between two kids?

It’s the dream of every parent to see their baby walking around the home interior with his little footsteps. They provide some of the joyful moments of everyone’s life. Yet most parents take a safe gap between two kids. Financial issues, late marriage, problems related to profession, diseases – there are many factors which determine the arrival of the next member to the family. But, what’s the ideal age difference between two kids? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

If first kid is reluctant to accept his younger sibling or the second kid doesn’t get sufficient care, the siblings may drift from each other. Many parents also fail to bring up both kids with love and care, or develop a bond between these two. There is no ideal age between two kids, for each age gap, there are some advantages and disadvantages too.

If age gap is below 2 years

If second member arrives soon after the birth of first one, it adversely affects mother’s health. It can result in abortions and premature births. Soon after delivery, mother’s body lacks vitamins and iron. For the same reason, if she gets pregnant very soon, the fetus may not get sufficient nutrients. Also if both the kids are attacked by some disease, mother cannot care both the kids properly at the same time. She cannot breast feed her first baby for long time, if she is pregnant. Yet if you have a delayed marriage or pregnancy, this gap is OK.

Advantages

1. If age difference between the siblings is less than 1 year or so, they develop a strong bond easily. First child happily accepts his young sibling and he behaves friendly to him. The first kid is not anxious if he loses the love and care of his parents. That’s reason. His thoughts are not so complicated at this younger age.  

2. A family prepares a lot for the arrival of first kid. Toys and cradle are available at home. So, extra preparations are not needed for the second baby.

3. If you delay second pregnancy too much, it may result in secondary infertility. In such conditions, the couple should not delay the arrival of second child too much.

Disadvantages

1. It’s tedious to bring up both kids together. Mother’s eye and hands to reach everything needed for her kids, and it’s not so easy. As both are babies, she can’t discriminate between the two.

2. If the elder kid urges for mother’s presence, and if mother fails to give it, it can make him despair. She may not be able to distribute her avail time equally between two kids. While she is busy with caring her younger kid, she may not closely observe the growing phase of elder one.

3. Back pain and stress are the end results of two deliveries within a short interval of time. deficiency of calcium and iron can also affect mother’s health.

If age gap is between 3 and 5 years

It’s the time when the elder kid gets a lot of caring and love from his parents. He starts doing a few of his basic activities at this stage, without others’ help. Also his needs are totally different from what needed for a younger baby. But quarrels are more if the age gap is between three and five.

Advantages:

1. Brotherhood may pave way to close friendship and they easily communicate with each other.

2. It’s the ideal time chosen by most parents for second kid. For the same reason, he easily makes friendship with children of same age in his family and close relatives’ circles. Kids may come out of the quarrels with siblings easily.

Disadvantages:

1. At the age of three, a kid starts learning himself, and he is very naughty and mischievous at this age. When parents are keen in the activities of second kid, they may not find enough time to clear his doubts. As both are not imitating one another, it may result in a wide gap between the two.

2. Elder kid might have his own accessories, school bags, books etc. If the younger kid tries to reach these things, the elder kid may negatively respond to it, and turn possessive over his belongings.

If age gap is between 5 and 6 years

Financial issues and job pressures are the main reasons why many couples opt for age gap of 5 or 6 years between their kids. But if yours is a late marriage, never choose this gap for kids. It can result in many health issues as age travels forward, and infertility issues can also occur.

Advantages:

1. As parents are well experienced with bringing up first kid, they can welcome the second kid with ease, clearing many defects and issues in the first issues.

2. Health condition of mother is also restored to original stage, and hence she can give birth to a healthy baby. Problems like malnutrition can never affect second fetus.

3. The elder kid is a little bit understanding, and he may assist his mother to look after the baby. He takes responsibilities at a very young age. Yes, when he is mature, it gives many advantages too.

4. When elder kid goes to school, he loves to play with friends of his age. For the same reason, mother can reserve more time for her younger kid.

Disadvantages:

1. Mother may find a little difficult to take care of younger kid along with studies of elder one. She needs more time and manual efforts too.

2. In some cases adjustment problems occur in the mind of elder kid, when he finds that he lose some of his love and care to his younger sibling. It may develop to a huge gap, if parents neglect his emotions and feelings.

3. Apart from busy job schedule, family may face some financial issues too, to bring up both kids together. If they have some extra assignments like home construction, the time schedule turns tight. 

If age gap is more than 6 years

If you don’t want to see your kids quarrelling, you can choose this age gap. But the elder kid owns his own friends’ circle, style of living and mobile phone as his best companion. When parents change their attention towards younger one, the elder child who lacks attention from parents, may start living in his own created world.

Advantages:

1. Emotional bonding is high in elder kids towards younger ones. He may take his younger one’s caring as his responsibility and may often take the role of parent teaching him everything.

2. Elder kid can turn a good teacher to his younger ones, and help his mother in this matter.

Disadvantages:

1. Though the elder kid helps his parents in many matters, you can expect it always. He also wants mother’s love and care.

2. If age gap between the siblings is big, they may not share common interests and hobbies. It may affect the friendship between the two. They may have different opinion over the same thing.

For secondary infertility issues

There won’t be any issue with first kid. But there may be a few issues with second kid. Couples may not get kids when they want a baby for the second time. Ladies may fail to conceive in most cases, or a pregnancy may result in abortion. 25% of infertility issues are linked to secondary infertility issue, directly or indirectly. 

Age is most important

After 35 years of age, the health of eggs slowly start to degenerate. Even if she gets pregnant, chances are more for abortion. If there is a gap between first child and second pregnancy, hormonal issues related to estrogen may show their shades. Chances of fibroids and endometriosis are higher at this age. After the age of 40, sperm count reduces in men, and also its health. Smoking and other bad habits can adversely affect the health of sperms. 

Issues with fallopian tube

Blocks in fallopian tubes may be due to many reasons. Some ladies might have undergone tubectomy. If you change your mind and desire for a second child, reverse tubectomy is possible. Yet chances to get pregnant are comparatively less. Carelessness during first pregnancy might have resulted in infections and blocks in fallopian tubes too. 

Sleeplessness, stress and pressures 

Now in most homes, both husband and wife are working people, and hence both suffer a lot of stress even after reaching home. It can adversely affect their sexual relationship, giving less chances for conceiving a child. If tension is excess, the eggs may not be healthy. 

Sleep well

Melatonin is the hormone produced in the body while sleeping. When you sleep late, this hormone is not produced effectively, and it affects the quality of eggs produced.  

Obesity can also give infertility issues. Polycystic ovary syndrome – most common among ladies now is mainly caused due to obesity issues. Make healthy diet and manual exercises a daily habit to overcome this issue. If you have planned for your second child and not conceived within 1 year, you can seek the advice of a doctor. To increase sperm count and improve ovulation process, medicines are available. Both improves chances for natural conceiving, without the aid of further treatments. 

Image source: Pixabay

Also read a few more articles on parenting. Click on the images in the gallery to read

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Sandy

A freelance writer and blogger by profession since October 2011, interested in writing over a wide range of topics. Hope you enjoy my writings. I belong to one of the beautiful places of the world, Kerala, nicknamed as 'God's own country'.

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