Saying ‘No’ is an art
Our mind may desire to say ‘no’ to a few things. But our thinking brain may prompt us to stay silent or say yes. If you are a person belonging to this genre, then you should definitely read this post.
“You should complete my tasks as well. I am on leave this week”, “You should accompany me to shopping this evening”, “You should arrange a special dinner in the evening” – situations may be different, persons may be different, but your answer remains the same, “Yes”, though your mind says “No”. Also, how can we say ‘no’ to someone we love or care, or to our boss or colleagues which may break a relationship? What will they think about me if I say no? Some of these common troubles may make your mind hesitate to say no. Here I provide a few simple tricks to say no, without affecting the relationships.
1. If you say ‘no’ in haste, you may hint to end a relationship abruptly. You should be able to find a suitable reason say ‘no’ and convince that person as well, without hurting him. The reason may be any – may be due to practical difficulties, inconvenience or lack of interest, but you should be able to give an explanation behind that big ‘No’ if asked.
2. If you are fully aware that you can’t do that particular task, never say Yes. Also never pretend as if you are to attempt it. It’s always better to say, ‘I can’t do it’ in humble words, rather than accepting the task and not completing it later. Your answer should be full and final, and not in confusions before arriving at a conclusion. He might be wasting a lot of his precious time, waiting for your reply.
3. If you can’t able to take a particular task, you can provide him other alternatives. For instance, if a friend asks you to take a ticket, you can provide him an alternative method to book the ticket online. Such alternative methods can also help him for future needs.
4. If you can’t take a task due to lack of time or extra work load, you can ask another day. You can ask him with a smile, ‘Now I am going out. Can I do it for you tomorrow?’
5. Giving a helping hand for others is always a good thing. But never waste your precious time also. Prepare a list of activities based on priorities, and accept tasks of others without affecting the ones listed in your bucket list. Otherwise a situation may arrive, when you may need to seek help from others to complete your tasks.
6. Your spouse or friend may choose a particular dress while shopping, but you may not like it. If you don’t like their choices, you can say that you didn’t like colour or pattern, or that ‘I like it, but it’s very expensive’. You need not say directly, ‘I don’t like it’. To give a negative comment after a positive one is always appropriate for such situations.
7. It’s always better to avoid a particular responsibility, rather than accepting it and fail to finish. You should not disturb your mind with silly thoughts such as ’What will he think if I say I don’t know it?’, or as ’What will he think if I say I can’t complete the task in the stipulated time’. If you take a responsibility and couldn’t complete it, it spoils the relationship better, and also gives a bad mark or impulse from other people.
8. Some persons say hundreds of ‘sorry’ instead of a single ‘no’. It’s something like admitting a mistake, which you have never done. Instead you can present the matter like, “I want to help you, but…..”.
9. Your ‘No’ to a single task may be ‘yes’ to many other tasks. A weekend with your family provides a lot of happiness to you and dear ones. Isn’t it?
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