Be happy – Simple mantras to find happiness in whatever you do
“Why am I the only unhappy person in this world?”, “Am I the most unlucky person of this world….?” – such thoughts trouble most of the people around us, though they never express it before others. In the smiling lips and coloured smiles, most of us try to hide from others our personal agonies. Yet in loneliness or silence, we may burst out asking the same question repeatedly. Yes, it may not be possible always to find feasible solution to each and every regret of our lives, despairs, lost things and many more. But it’s definitely possible to fill our life with happiness, to stay away from heart wrenching thoughts and smile to ourselves, if we truly believe so. Here I suggest a few simple techniques to find happiness with what is left for you.
Let us begin with a few inspirational quotes of Osho on happiness
Through one of the inspirational quotes quoted by Osho, he asks people to switch off the machine of sadness to get rid of sorrows, and see the world through a spectator’s eyes. In yet another famous quote, he gave us one of his greatest observations similar to the very famous old proverb, “No Pain, No Gains”. Through this quote, he illustrates sadness and happiness to be the two sides of the same coin, or the roots or branches of same tree respectively. He states that while sadness gives roots, happiness gives branches and while happiness shoots up to highs, sorrows go down deep inside not visible from outer side, and both the processes take place at the same time simultaneously. In short behind every success, there are some deep sorrows and losses hidden inside, and both are always in same proportion and always keep a balance in between.
If we go deep into Osho’s thoughts, we can find similar situations in our lives as well. We gain not only just a few sorrows, but a lot of happiness as well, and it’s applicable to everyone around us. In sadness, we often fail to see the big branches getting ready to shoot the stars at deep skies, and we spend most of our precious time to decode the passage of roots beneath the surface, which is not at all visible to everyone. Digging our thoughts can only add agonies, and not pleasures, and why can’t we take things in this perspective? As Osho states, why can’t we just change ourselves to a spectator and see us and our problems through another person’s life, instead of digging the basement of the tree from its roots? Yes, problems and sorrows always stay there in the deep corners of our heart, if we can’t find feasible solutions. If we don’t trouble them, they won’t hurt you in return, just like a venomous serpent which tempts to bite a person who tries to harm him. Isn’t it?
Just leave Osho’s thoughts for a while and try to find some of the happy moments of your life just happened today. You can recollect each and every silly thing which brought smile to your lips – a facebook post liked by your friend, an appreciation received from your boss, a compliment on your new experimented hair style or a sweet offered by your friend for his birthday. Why can’t you list such 20 simple things, which may look less significant in your life, and cannot be linked with major events of your life, or not to stay in your memory long?
Now make a list of those things which made you restless today. You can add an unsuccessful experiment in your kitchen and a negative comment received from your colleague at office. If possible, list such 20 things. Now just compare these two lists. You finished which list first? Which list took lesser time to recollect facts from memory? If your answer is ‘Happy’ list, then you are definitely a lucky person. You own a pair of spectacles which easily identify the joyful moments of your life. Otherwise, you definitely need a correction. Life is a season of spring and autumn, and if you are able to see spring through your life’s spectacles happiness is definitely at your door step. Otherwise you need to travel a little bit more taking your own steps to find that destination by yourselves. Such persons can never find happiness or peace of mind in anything around them and keep complaining always.
Today in this world with high pace, people flee around in search of happiness and peace of mind. We can also see many smiling faces around with tsunamis in souls, while a few express their grieves too, complaining about everything – system, social life, happiness and everything around. As per world happiness report of 2016, India stays at 118th position in the list of 157 nations. Are we not able to fill our minds with happiness?
Many of us live in the belief that in this world, when we try to meet our lives in every way we can, where is the time to spare for happiness and happy moments? You should change this perspective towards life, and have a positive attitude first. Lost moments are gone and can never be restored back. So it’s wise to spend each gifted second which passes by, like a coin and buy some precious moments to keep in memory forever. Similar to a silent clock, you may stay gloomy even after gaining so much money, affection and love. You need to uninstall those thoughts from your mind and install some positive thoughts and refreshing moments. Now try to learn how to stay happy.
Stay happy at these three places
If you observe carefully, you might have divided yourself among family, profession and society in which he lives. But in some cases, one or two factors among the three may be absent. How you behave in office, you show some of its shades at home also. If you can’t find happiness and sincerity in office tasks, it affects your family life too, and you may pay less attention and sincerity towards your beloved ones. It’s a basic trait of man’s personality which shows off its true colour in whatever situation he stays. It’s not possible to live with dual personality, and in certain situations the truth will definitely come out. You need to change some of the basic characteristics to achieve happiness and satisfaction in these three places – office, home and society.
How can we enjoy? Learn these few things
How should we enjoy our life? We can’t get its answer in a simple sentence or phrase. Each person has his own perspective, and happiness differs for each and every person. Slight changes in your perspectives and mind, you can conquer new worlds of happiness and joy. When you start to approach life with easiness, your mind automatically tunes to a happy mode.
Some kids are very happy while reading a book or watching pictures. But when he opens his school book, his mind fills with dark clouds of boredom. Things are the same. He interprets things through reading books, one is interesting while the second one may fail to keep the same excitement in his mind. Yes, two outcomes for the same process of reading books. It’s just a simple example to show you, how we respond indifferently to the same thing in two different situations.
A person whose mind is filled with boredom and lack of interest at office stays happy and relaxed while playing football. His mind is filled with joy and happy moments only, when he is engaged in some activity which he finds interest. He spends more physical energy in a playground than at office. Yet he loves to play out door. While seeing a comedy show in television or engaged in some recreation events, how happy a person is. He is in an extremely pleasing mood when he spends time with dear friends for a social party.
In short, it’s not the activity, but how our mind is hooked to the activity determines the emotions associated with it, happiness, sadness, despair and many more. Try to see books and syllabus as characters of an interesting story, cartoon etc. Same is the case of your profession too. Office is like a football ground, with ball in your hands. There are competitors all around, who try to drag you down and snatch your football, just like a football game. Fearing those factors, if you stay outside the boundary with football in hand, can it help you by any means? What’s the fun? Ya, you still hold the football, but does it give you any sort of fun if you are not willing to enter the playground to play some risky shots or take part in an adventurous sport?
Like a football match, play it with a sporting emotion, and never feel too much serious about it. Feel relaxed and play your moves. See the difference! In most cases, our anxious mind is the root of all evils, which drag us to the hell of sorrows. Instead try to take things with ease and perform your activities with satisfaction and happiness.
Many factors can determine the end result of an activity, and lead to success shore or dreadful end. Just assume that someone has set off for a destination without a clear idea of route map. He may ask help of people to find his way, use sign boards and google maps to reach his destination. The condition of his car, the climate of the route, the charge of his mobile which shows him the google map are also the determining factors which help him to find the place. If all these factors work fine, he will definitely reach his destination without any difficulty.
But if at least one of these factors worked against him, such as a person guiding him to a wrong route, snow fall to disrupt the journey or charge down in his mobile which showed him the google map, it may take more time to reach the destination and in some cases, he may reach some unknown destination which he never planned earlier. Damage of his vehicle can also one of the important factors, and if he succeeds to get a free trip from someone else, he definitely succeeds. Here also many other factors determine the journey such as, if the person who offered him the lift is not trustworthy the whole game may turn around against him. Thus it’s not just his talent, but a few more situations too, which played their part to take him to destination. When situations are positive we succeed easily, otherwise we fail terribly.
If you are able to visualize the whole world like this, you may not regret if your attempt to reach destination failed somewhere in the middle of journey. Also the feeling that, my success was determined by so many factors, not just my hard work, may not make you over excited or feel pride in extreme.
How to handle kids?
Kids loss their happiness in most cases, when they asked to stop play and go to studies. When they are asked to do something which they lack interest, why do they feel gloomy? There is only a single solution to this issue. Make them aware of the activities and duties which they are bounded too. If your kid is careless in studies and spend most of his time in front of games, ask him to prepare a timetable. Assign him the task to allocate time to study, watch television and play football. If he allocates less time for study, you should make him understand with reasoning.
As soon as he completes the timetable, give him the responsibility to go with the prepared charts. If he fails in some matter, as a good parent you will correct him – if you able to convey this matter effectively to your kid, he may not feel restless when asked to study or learn. Through advices, strict orders or scolding, you can’t correct a child. A thought should evoke from his soul, and it can make a huge difference.
While committing silly mistakes, note these points
Live today’s life and enjoy the moments that passes by. If you try to live in your past or future, it affects your balance of life. Through simple renovations, your dream house can be filled with joy and a lot of brightness. For example, in the hasty mornings, you ruined your breakfast preparation and you may need to prepare something for your family adding some extra moments. Lost is gone, and it’s futile to cry over the ruined breakfast. Instead try to adjust the situation and find reliable solutions so that you can reach office in time.
As told above, it’s not just our efforts which present us happy or sad moments, success or failures. Many factors determine its course of journey and probability of success or loss. Take things light, and try to find suitable alternatives to get out of that bad situation. That’s how we find happiness in everything around us.
Talk a lot and never forget to smile
Happiness of you is deeply determined by the loved ones around you, especially our family members. A simple stress with some elderly person of your home can slowly spread negative energy everywhere, killing the peace and happiness of every member associated with the family. Harsh words in haste can break hearts for sure. Find time for all family members, and if possible arrange short trips. Include elderly persons too, and watch its difference.
Romance in the air
All marriages begin with a lot of lovely and cheering moments. But when times passes by, it changes to a faded flower in the intense heat of despairs, unexpectation and many more factors. Such huge losses of life can affect the happy moments of all family members. Fill your life with some quality time and preservence for the other person to fill the life with love and care. Many tense moments of the family atmosphere can be cooled off with silly activities. Kids closely watch their parents and learn many new things in life. When he sees mutually caring parents, he learns how to behave with his wife in future. Love of couple should never be restricted to bedroom only, and mutual respect and love can be shared and showered at each and every occasion, and change the home to a paradise.
Not just spouse only, you should be able to well behave with every member of your family, kids and elderly persons. Cultivate this habit as early as you can, and smile always. Tensed atmosphere of a family can be changed to some enjoyable and relaxing moments, if all members openly communicate, and if a monthly tour is arranged to some nearby place. You can choose a place of your preference – park, shopping mall or just a road trip. During such trips, avoid sharp edged words and blaming and enjoy the pleasant moments only. Also take elderly persons with you.
No, never …. I will never do that
Assure yourself you never do something you feel you should never commit. This simple mantra can prevent you from regrets which may you do in future. It’s only a myth that money gives happiness as bonus. We cannot sustain our happiness only through our money power. We can see many multimillionaires around with lots of money to ‘purchase happiness’ as per preference. But do you believe they are the most lucky and happy persons of the world? Can’t we find happiness in a small hut, where the members mutually understand each other and share everything which they really own, and in most cases, the sharing of something they possess is not definitely money.
Happiness never flow in a single stride, they flow like waves or big tides of the sea in some irregular pattern. Sometimes you are gifted with ripples of happiness while at several cases the tides may wash away whatever you possess. That’s the law of life. Relations and profession are two integral factors which determine the happiness, its frequency in life and they are related to so many things around you. If you are able to find equilibrium in both and link happiness with both, you earn everything you want from your life. Otherwise you may drift and fall in the several tests life offers you very often.
During academic years or early phase in professional life, people close the doors towards future happiness. Very often they constrain to themselves giving isolation a habit, in the name of studies or job, and this habit becomes a part of his life forever. In most cases, students are being forced by his parents and society he lives to choose a profession he doesn’t find to suit best. Yet he very often accepts it just for financial stability, in the cost of happiness. He may give up him ambitions, passions and dreams so, and when he is into a profession based on his academic skills, it’s obvious that he never finds happiness in it. It’s applicable for most of us around us, who give financial stability more importance than any other factor which can gift him happiness, yet in the inner soul he cries to himself. That’s the main reason why most people find lack of interest in the profession they take.
Is it possible to fill your academic life and professional years in happiness? Study loans, personal loans, financial issues of the family and other troubles which never allow taking risks with life are the main factors which take to most of us to a ‘compromising’ job, which gives us dissatisfaction in return. A few setbacks in the initial stages of his life can also discourage him mentally. It increases the stress of mind and takes away all the happiness of life.
“What do you want to study? Which profession would you love to choose?”, most parents ask their kids the same question. Take time to answer this very important question, as many of your happy moments in future are associated with your answer. Think twice before choosing a particular course, and ask yourself why you choose this subject and its answer should never be money. Salary you receive from your job can never make you happy always, particularly if you chose money over your dreams and passions. You will get bored very soon or later, and at that point of time, it may not be possible to return back and choose your dreams as new path. Yet it’s not all fully impossible too.
You can choose any profession as you desire. But you should have a clear idea of happiness the profession gives you in return. If you choose a profession which you truly love, problems associated with it turns to be an adventurous trip or fun for you and you will love it. Otherwise it kills your happiness little by little.
Let’s kill the pressure and tension factors
“Target” – this simple 6 letter word kills the happiness of most of the professionals around us, both young and old. The increasing target every month gives only pressure, and no pleasure of life. It risks your job giving threats to all the factors associated with your personal life, such as expenditure, loans, savings etc, and when you are not able to reach the mark of expectations forcibly imposed on you by your boss, it makes you weaker, and happiness starts drifting from you slowly. It’s futile to blame targets or the huge amounts of happiness it takes away from your life.
Your argument with boss can never reduce your target as well, but only your blood pressure. Is it not a feasible solution to accept it, and find reliable ways to complete your pre-fixed targets? Feel relaxed, and see it as your responsibility, and try to complete it. Motivate yourself.
Assign price to relationships
Relationships – it doesn’t imply bond with others, but with oneself too. There should be a connection between mind and the activities we do, though the linking path is not easily visible. If the path is blocked by some external factors, it may affect your confidence and personality features too. You may blame yourself, the checkpoint where happiness starts drifting. What you preach, show in actions also. But if you carry a dual personality, you can’t hide your real traits from others always, and today or tomorrow you will be exposed. So, is it not wise to stay as what you actually are? It adds less stress to your life in all occasions, and you never have to act. In any case, if your reality is exposed, you will be affected most, and your social image can also change in a flash of seconds.
If you can’t maintain a proper relationship with your mind or never remain a true person to yourself, you can never create good relationships with other members of your family or society. It results in loss of confidence, adding stress to your job and other activities, and affects your happiness too.
Key of your happiness – Never give to any other person
Your office or working atmosphere includes so many people with different traits and characters. Some people are very good with some fine qualities, a few with some grey shades, while a few others are not ease to handle. A few are very cunning who may spread gossips about you, or try to snatch away your positions. In the midst of people with different shades, how is it possible to handle all of them, and achieve happiness in the working atmosphere? We may need to approach different people in different ways, and as situation demands, and your wise behavior can change attitude of many towards you.
Just keep this important point in mind – Key of your happiness is still with you, and never hand over it to any other person. Your colleague, which you thought to be a perfect gentleman may spread gossips about you, or back-stab you from behind, may tell wrong things about you to your boss. But why should you kill your happiness for the bad activities conducted by another person? Never link your key of happiness with other person. Your bad mood and sadness can also catalyze him to repeat the task, so that he can find pleasure of himself hurting you. It’s something like an entertainer movie with repeat value. If so, who is giving you such a bad offer? Definite you, isn’t it? If you give him your key of happiness, it’s only he who controls it later, and you may stay happy only at his mercy. Just remember it.
It’s good to have an open mind, but never open wide your mind doors before others. As per situation, we may need to keep it tightly closed too. Keep your mind doors shut against persons who always spread negativity and discourage you. Never accept anything which you never want. Dangerous boss and unfaithful colleagues – keep distance from both and stay away from negativity. But it’s not wise to neglect them fully, as they can help you in many means.
Let me take the example of a football game once again. Suppose your profession is just like a game, with you carrying the ball always. What if such an interesting game doesn’t have defenders, referee or goal keeper! If you are the only person in the big playground with a few players in your team and goal post only, will you feel happy with the repeated goals you score in the game? Not at all. You get bored easily.
A game turns interesting only if we have some strong contenders or opponents to snatch away our ball, goal keeper to defend your goals and a referee similar to your boss who keep an eye on you always, and warn you from doing bad activities while you are playing. You become a real hero only if you succeed to trick your opponents to reach the goal post and score a goal. Isn’t it? After all, what’s the pleasure of life without a few risks and adventures! It can prompt you to strive better if you are able to take negative criticisms as positive signs for improvement. If such criticisms don’t have anything strong to rely upon and just a matter of ego or jealousy, just leave it and concentrate on yourself.
The moment which your opponent identifies that your backstabbing is not affecting you, in fact it encourages you only to strive better giving better results and stay happy, he identifies that he tried to knock the wrong person in the big playground. It’s the pleasure moment of ‘self-goal’ for you, where the other person strikes at his own goal post giving you a free goal. After that he never put up courage with fight with you again. Very often our courage to face situations instead of tears can achieve the real goal you are waiting for, and a lot of sweat and happiness are associated with it.
Bridges of happiness
Relations are bridges of happiness, which connect minds of different persons with a single cord. It’s very simple to make relationships, but not easy to retain it forever. Many factors play an important role in retaining relationships – mutual understandings and respect, helping mentality, quality time and many more facts, it depends. You stay in a relationship only if you are able to uplift the pinpoints of the bridge which keep the relations strong. If so, such relations can give you happiness in long run. But those exchanged things should never include negativity or discouragements. A give and take policy is followed in all relations, both simple and complex. After all, everything depends on a few expectations.
We can find both good and evil in the same thing around
Many people around us are so, their minds are always filled with negativity. They always think negative and blame the society for even simple inconveniences. They frequently complain that this world will always remain bad, and nothing can change this system or living people or their attitude. A simple question to such people – Is electricity good or bad? It gives electric shock and can result in death as well. But we can’t ignore the benefits given by electric power. Isn’t it? It depend the approach of each person to determine if electricity is good or bad, and how he use it wise. Same is the case of our society as well.
If you don’t want to become a foolish person who dances on the electrical lines, use it wisely and enjoy the benefits. We can find many such examples in present scenario – internet, mobile phones and many more. Like a coin, everything has good and bad, and it’s our thoughts and perspectives which prompt us to choose anyone apt. Through experiences, learn different measures how to face different people and situations. You can wisely use positive traits of negative persons to light the lamps of happiness around you.
Just a keynote – In the busy schedule of your fast life, stop a while and take a breath. Then see around, what’s happening around you. You can see both lights of happiness and pains of sorrows. If you want to embrace happiness, neglect those worrying factors and concentrate on positive sights only, and experience the difference. Yes, everything is present around you, but you need to search and find it. IF YOU SEARCH HAPPINESS, YOU FIND HAPPINESS AND IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SORROWS, DON’T WORRY YOU CAN FIND IT MORE EASILY TOO! Now you decide, what you want to find. All the very best.
Image source: Pixabay