A few parenting tips for Daughters’ Moms to make them confident
As per studies, girls are three times depressed comparing to boys. To live with self-confidence, a girl child needs parents’ help and a mother can do a lot of things in this case. Through this column, I shall give you a few such parenting tips for mothers to bring up their daughters with self-confidence.
In many cases, though girls exceed boys in learning abilities, handling language or leadership skills, they may not feel happy or satisfied comparing with their male counterparts. Why? Answer is simple. Girls face more anxiety and depression – studies say. Why? Though parents never show partiality in bringing their kids, they fail to teach them how to enjoy life, or how to handle stress and tensions. If parents are able to implement these principles in their life and manage to give them freedom along with ensuring safety, it’s easy to make our daughters feel confident.
Small happiness in small successes
Before a child reaches teens, he/she identifies his/her own distinct identity. Either girl or boy, parents should give them a social life, where they get opportunity to communicate with others in the society where they live. Give them enough freedom, though security is also a concern.
1. When your daughter lacks some confidence to do something new, support her. Then only she attempts to do it herself. Talks, opinions, perspectives or thoughts – everything should be positive. Also assign them tasks only if you feel she has the capability to complete it, and when she succeeds in completing the tasks, it improves her confidence.
2. You can give same tasks to sons and daughters. Never think that girls can’t do it or prevent her from doing something, which a boy has been assigned to do. Controls can be given, by giving due respect to their personality. When they are restless or highly emotional, never approach them with your advices.
3. Teach her since early childhood, how to face bad situations of life and how to overcome them with courage. Even an eye contact with confidence can control a person. Also teach them how to solve problems by themselves.
4. When you always complain them for their silly mischiefs since early childhood, they make deep imprints in their minds. Hard words can break their hearts and self-confidence too. When they do something, they may feel doubtful and thus lack of courage may not help them to complete it perfectly. After a few such unsuccessful attempts, they tempt to lose more confidence. Also if he/she feels she is being observed or neglected, it well reflects in their character and behaviour too.
Positive body language
1. Parents can help their kids to achieve a positive body image. Before teens, inferiority complex may develop in girls. They may be a bit confused with their body growth too. It’s also a stage when girls start caring their body, beauty etc, and factors like skin tone, colour, body weight, hair type, hair length etc are easy to get their notice. Teach your kid to love her body as it is, even if it has some defects. Otherwise she may lose confidence, and in the worst case, she may find it difficult to mingle with her friends and others for a reason she can’t be blamed of.
2. A kid should learn to respect her body. Otherwise she may show some signs of lack of confidence, such bend too much while walking, holding dress while walking or talking etc. Such body language signs are bad, and should be blocked at early stage itself.
3. Mothers influence daughters a lot. Daughters learn a lot of things from their mothers since early childhood, in character, behaviour, interests, thoughts etc. So learn to talk good words, behave well in public & home, and talk with confidence. Don’t forget, your daughter is watching you and learning also.
4. Teach them how to present important things with confidence. Otherwise in future too, they may lack confidence how to present serious matters before others. If so, many things which need quick attention may not get it enough what’s required. When you present something with confidence, you get the enough courage to face anything in your life.
Father is her biggest strength
Father’s presence, words and approach influence a daughter’s every phase of growth. She feels happy when her father says, ‘My daughter is beautiful’. But she feels more happy and confident when her father says, ‘She handles her problems with ease. She has the potential to teach her younger sister or advise her’. Such positive words from father’s side can improve her self-confidence a lot.
1. Father can take her for an outing or gift her favourite things. But when you take her for your shopping or nearby grocery shop, or seek her help while washing your vehicle, such small steps make her feel that she is important for you. It improves her happiness and self-confidence too.
2. Never try to create ‘a good girl’ image about your daughter always. If so unnecessarily you are forcing her to remain perfect always, without any flaws. She may overreact and adds extra pressure to win always. When such attempts fail to succeed occasionally, it breaks her confidence, and also makes her feel that she has some faults. Failures also form a part of our lives, and stepping stones to success too – let them understand this simple slogan.
3. Train them to take small risks, and if they succeed in that attempt, their confidence improves. There are many parents who do whatever they can, to see their kids succeed. Some mothers have the habit to complete all the tasks assigned to their kids as homework or project. Instead of doing yourself, let them do it. There may be some mistakes, but it prepares your child to improve next time. We can improve their self-confidence through ‘Trial and Error Method’.
Confidence to face the society
Lack of interest in studies, feeling anxious for unknown reasons, quick responding and anger etc are some of the common changes in girls during the growing phase. In most cases it’s normal, yet not always. So try to find reasons behind it.
1. Normally girls are highly emotional and expressive comparing with boys. They are deeply moved by others’ sorrows and emotions too. They learn it since childhood. When elders instruct her to remain happy always, they often hide their deep emotions inside. They also hide their anger and insecurity feelings. So it’s better to ask them to express their true emotions instead of living as someone else. It makes them feel relaxed, when emotions are released in a better way through proper channels at the right time.
2. You may be a busy person, yet find some time to listen to your child’s words. If she tells you about some boy who proposed her, never over react or utter bad opinion about him. Instead try to understand the situation and reach a practical solution.
3. When it comes to personal choices like choosing dress or accessories for a party, never interfere in their likes or opinions too much. Never try to impose your likes, hobbies or personal choices on him/her. If anyone of the parent is a sportsperson, it doesn’t imply that child should follow the same path. Also teach her to accept people with different perspectives, though their ideas and thoughts are contradictory.
Love, care and support
Your daughter should feel satisfied you love and care her, and support her in her decisions. It deepens the bond and belief between mother and daughter.
1. Encouragement can definitely bring positive changes to your daughter’s life. But it’s not necessary that you should encourage her always or give her pleasant gifts too. Be wise while encouraging her, and give her surprise gifts too.
2. Pampering your child is ok, but never make it excess. Love and caring make your child calm. Strict ‘no’ and ‘military policy’ at home can cause cracks in their self-confidence.
3. You should teach your kid the difference between good touch and bad touch, and help them to identify both. Also teach her to respond to those who approach her with bad intensions. She should be confident enough to say ‘no’, and a parent can train her to gain confidence in this matter. You should be a good friend to your daughter so that she can tell you everything. Also teach her how to keep distance while mingling with others in the society which we live.
4. Teach them how to sit straight and stand erect. Teach them how to look at someone’s eyes straight with confidence. Over reacting or over bursting can only invite problems. Hence teach them how to control emotions. Teach them how to accept wins and losses equally.
Your daughter should have a clear image of what her parents think about her, how much you understand her and her feelings, and what are your expectations about her. If so, she smiles with confidence, and conquer whatever she dreams to do.
Image source: Pixabay